Blessed, Blessed Samhain

(For those of you not in "the know," that's pronounced "sow-in.")

It's time for the Celtic New Year. Not only one of the "high holy days" in the pagan and Wiccan calendar - a time when the veil between the worlds is thought to be at its thinnest, but the time when one ought to begin to turn inward. Examine one's life. Delve into the shadows to see what lies beneath.

I've never understood why people think Halloween is spooky or scary. We are taught to respect our elders and revere our forebears. So why do we think their departed spirits want to wander around, open and close cabinet doors, or smash pumpkins? It's beyond me...

What I plan on using this dark time for is to plunge the depths of my unconscious and use it to create a brand new world. A world of fiction, but one which speaks of truth. Yes, folks, it's NaNoWriMo time.

I also plan on using it to examine this new life of mine. This life that has me lingering long after yoga class talking to people about classes, teachers, styles, Thai restaurants, and fun places to go hiking. This life that has me waking up early enough to do a full hour plus of yoga, shower, eat, and still get to the office before the lion's share of people even arrive. This life that gives me the opportunity to hang out on a rocky cove at 8 am on a quiet Sunday morning, watching the storm clouds blow out.

It's going to be a good new year. I can feel it in my bones. Blessings.

Oh yea - in case you're wondering - the concert - AMAZING. Old hits, new hits, revamped hits. Death of a Disco Dancer reimagined. Stretch Out and Wait with an ... interesting ... dance interpretation. And, Dear God, Please Help Me with tears. I was in heaven. I laughed, I sang, I danced, I cried. I didn't get to kiss his Mozness, but just seeing his brilliance - I'm a happier person for it.

The Great and Powerful Moz

It's been a super busy, hectic, crazy, emotional whirlwind of a few days. Moving happened, torrential downpour and all. Nothing that I know of was broken or lost in the melee and I would say I'm about 85% settled in.

New apartment is great except I can't seem to get the hot water in the shower to stay hot. This sucks. But the landlord seems responsive, so hopefully we'll get it fixed. I cannot live without the hot bath option....

But it's been amazing being in Gloucester. People seem really friendly - almost too friendly. There was a wierd incident involving a couple, a Mexican restaurant, a margarita and an invitation. I'm not sure if they're in a cult or an "open" relationship. I think I'll wait awhile before taking them up on their offer to "swing by their place"... (Swing being the operative word, methinks.)

And tonight is the Morrissey concert. I am much excited. It's gonna suck driving in and out of the city on the day of the stupid Red Sox parade (did you hear the "crowd response" from Fenway? I am ashamed to be from the same city as these drunken idjuts...). But I am uber excited for the show. He's so amazing live. *sigh* A gal in love.... Maybe I can hook up with a random Brit again and get invited to the front row. Hey, it worked last time....

And after tomorrow, the writing begins. NaNoWriMo, here I come!

Only One More Sleep till Gloucester

Well, it's arrived. My last night here in Watertown - the night before the dawn before the day of moving.

And while the net/net is definitely a wonderful, positive thing, I do have a few sweet, sad tears for leaving. After all, I've lived in or around Watertown for a grand total of nearly seven years. I know all the local haunts and I can drive around this town blindfolded.

I'm sure that I will get to that point in my new home town. And already I'm liking the people I meet and getting a feel for the local community. I know that belonging to a place - and having it belong to you - is more than just knowing how to get from A to Z or knowing the name of the guy at the convenience store around the corner.

Still, there are a lot of memories in this here apartment, in this here town. It's been pretty good to me, all things considered. I'll miss it.

Feed the Hungry a Word at a Time

Found a great way to while away the bored hours at new job. Go here to play a fun little game where every time you get the definition of a word right, corporations donate 10 grains of rice to the UN to feed the hungry. I had to stop at 500 because I actually have work to do. But, I grinned a lot when "ubiquitous" put me over the 470 mark.

Hackensack ... And Frog

I am still massively bored at work. Altho I had a great brainstorming session this a.m., that's pretty much it for today. I should be revelling in this, but the old Catholic guilt is kicking in.

I do really like the people here, though, and the high-schoolesque lunches in the cafeteria are quite fun. On Tuesday we played CSI Agency and tried to reason out this mystery regarding a woman in the North End of Boston who apparently fell? jumped? off the roof of the building one of my coworkers lives in. We came up with quite elaborate scenarios. I think I'm gonna script it and try to sell it to CBS. Royalties.

Yesterday, a conversation about Halloween somehow morphed into a discussion about Barbies and cheerleading which, of course led to my confessions. I subscribe to the Barbie Newsletter. I used to be a cheerleader. Needless to say, my new colleagues were surprised. Even more surprised to find out that I gew up in New Jersey. Apparently, they didn't peg this no-makeup, no-hairdo, jeans-and-clog wearing hippie as a former Big Hair Girl. As my co-worker pointed out, I don't look like the typical native of New Jersey, Home of the Hair Closest to God.

Which brings me to this YouTube gem. To give credit, I found it on Feministing linked in a terrific post about the oversexualization of young girls. Check it out for some thought-provoking discussion. But for funny, watch this. Ahhhhhh, the lilting accent of my youth...

More Random Thoughts

Someone reminded me (as if I needed to be reminded) that moving is right up there on the stress level with losing a loved one and public speaking. Moving does, in fact, suck out loud.

I'm in this weird place between feeling like my whole life is in boxes and feeling like I have nothing packed and there's no way I'm ready for the movers to show up on Saturday.

And while I know that it will all be OK and it will work out and every time I drive into my new hometown I am amazed and awed at the natural beauty surrounding me, I am still massively stressed.

To top it off, I am STILL BORED at work. How many hours of WebSudoku can I play? Everyone keeps telling me that it's par for the course. But I don't do bored well. I left the office 10 mins early today (not really, since I was there at 8:30, but no one know that since there was a Sox game last night and most folks rolled in around 9:30....) and my boss saw me. He was having an impromptu meeting in an office down the hall about a project I'm remotely involved with. No one had come in to court my opinion, so I can only assume my input wasn't needed. Still, I feel massively guilty about the early departure. Here's hopin he understands.

I almost blew off the gym, as I was a) exhausted b) sore from multiple moving trips yesterday and c) upset and stressed. But I know that exercise is a powerful medicine against depression and so I sucked it up and went. And really glad I did. It was an amazing spin class and I found myself grinning like an idiot halfway through. I even had enough presence of mind to practice some asana afterwards.

Wish me luck for the rest of the week.

FoodFoodieMcFood

For those of us interested in/obsessed with the food world, there's alot going on this week.

King Corn opens tomorrow. "King Corn is a feature documentary about two friends, one acre of corn, and the subsidized crop that drives our fast-food nation. In King Corn, Ian Cheney and Curt Ellis, best friends from college on the east coast, move to the heartland to learn where their food comes from. With the help of friendly neighbors, genetically modified seeds, and powerful herbicides, they plant and grow a bumper crop of America’s most-productive, most-subsidized grain on one acre of Iowa soil. But when they try to follow their pile of corn into the food system, what they find raises troubling questions about how we eat—and how we farm."

This disgusts me: Hardee's on Monday rolled out its new Country Breakfast Burrito -- two egg omelets filled with bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns and sausage gravy, all wrapped inside a flour tortilla. The burrito contains 920 calories and 60 grams of fat.

Boston Vegetarian Food Festival. This Saturday is the 12th Annual Boston VegFest. I don't have time to go. I have two closets and one HUGE room left to pack. Not to mention various and sundry other errands to run. But I know of other Veg Bloggers (including Jody from VegChic) who will be there. The chance to meet and mingle with fellow Veg Bloggers who will be sporting "Eat More Kale" t-shirts. How can I not go?

I shouldn't be spending time looking these things up and blogging about them. But you can only write email call-to-action copy about whole life insurance policies for so long....

Costly Play Kales

So, I sat on my hands most of the day at work. Or, as ArmyFedExBoy would say, sat around with my thumb up my ass.

I mean, not really. I did manage to finish the plot outline for my NaNoWriMo novel. All 8 pages of it. I hope that doesn't constitute cheating and the flying guilt monkeys come for me....

But, for the most part, I stared at a computer screen all day with NOTHING productive to do. So I decided I would head out uber early (read 3:45) to catch one last yoga class with AwesomeYogaTeacher. But, the guilt monkeys did come to get me and I went to check in with one of the Veeps before I left.

Act 1 Scene 1: Kalesy knocks timidly on Veeps closed door. She has already decided to lie. "Um, I have to run out and grab the keys to my new apartment before the rental agency closes."

Veep: "Okay. Did A come talk to you about the pitch for BigCompany?"

Kalesy: "No. Should I have been looking for him?"

Veep: "No. It's a letter or email campaign. Or something. I don't have the details yet. But swing by after you come back from getting your keys and we can walk through it."

DOH!

Damn those flying guilt monkeys. I bet if I hadn't checked in, no one would have noticed me missing. Still, on the off chance they would have, probably a good thing I didn't leave. Besides, now I have something to do tomorrow. Yippee!

So, I missed yoga. I did run 4 miles on the treadmill at my new gym. Not quite the same, but it does help ease the jitters out.

And other eventful things happened, which I will blog about later - or not. The net/net is, it's 8:46 and all is well with The Universe.

Quick Update

No, the new job hasn't killed me. Quite the opposite. So far, so great, but details forthcoming. Suffice to say I've been unbelievably busy when not at work - with the move and figuring out all the surrounding details. I've fallen into bed exhausted by 10 each night...

But I had to mention this: once again Kalesy is ahead of the curve...

A few weeks ago, my car started sporting this:



Last night, Stephen Colbert announced his candidacy.

Do I have my pulse on the nation, or what?

B Day - as in Beginnings

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.

I'm nervous, anxious, excited, pensive, enthusiastic -- I'm a total loony bin.

But a trip yesterday to Salem provided me with the tools I need for a "New Beginnings" ritual I'm going to do tonight. I've got lots of lemon balm tea in me. I found a beautiful version of the Gayatri Mantra online and the performer gave me permission (no really!) to download it to my iPod. So, yes, all will be amazing.

Yesterday was a total blast. We lucked out with gorgeous weather for strolling the shops and stalls of Salem's Bizarre Bazaar. It was so nice to hang out with spiritual peeps when I'm feeling so befuddled. HypnoGal kept reminding me that "I will be great." And she's right. Many shiny things were purchased including two gorgeous Hematite necklaces that will help me stay grounded and hopefully help me set down those roots I so want to set.



I've got my outfit ironed, my coffee ready for brewing, my clock set on two different times. It's 9 p.m. and everything is ready, set, done. Too bad I fear sleep will be a long time coming. Ah well, more time to envision all the fabulousness my new life will be.

I Am Not Alone

On the advice of Saphire Dakini, I have been checking out Crazy Aunt Purl. Her blog chronicles her life after her husband left her suddenly - to go "find himself" - and her experiments coping via booze, Cheetos, and knitting. Oh, and cats. Lots of cats. It's a hilarious read - check it out.

As synchronicity happens, she just released a book about her experiences called Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair. And I ordered it.

This a.m. (only four days late) I was reading the Sunday Globe's book reviews and they give it glowing reviews.

It feels good to have examples of strong women who've turned heartache around. Especially a few short weeks before NaNoWriMo.

As the T-Shirt says, "Be Nice to Me or I'll Put You in My Novel". Muh Wha Ha Ha.

Score!

No, it's not what you think. Puhleeze. It's 11:07 and I'm in jammies watching The Daily Show.

I had a great time tonight. Good laughs. Etc. But I also got the chance to steal another - very cool - pint glass for the collection. Yesssssss!

I Like to Say Yngwie Malmsteen

My brother is a big fan of heavy metal music. And when we were growing up I was often subjected to, er um, treated to, amateur renditions of popular guitar riffs and Ozzy Osborne lyrics. Which may explain my tendency to walk around the house (age 5 or 6) chanting, "I Am Iron Man!"

Despite these protestations of my childhood self, I am really not that hardcore. But everyone seems to think I am.

I was chatting to a friend today and mentioned that I'm having drinks with my friend Tomkolson tonight. I also mentioned that there would be no hanky panky for numerous reasons but not least of which, I will not be rebound girl.

My friend paused and said, "Oh, did Tom just go through a break up?"

No you schmuck. I did.

Funny thing is, he's not the only person who's reacted like this. People seem to have forgotten already the Kalesy of a month ago (tomorrow's my anniversary. Go me!) who couldn't make it through an hour without tearage. Multiple folks have seemed shock when I express moments of pain and suffering, as if they're wondering why.

Perhaps I would be fairing better if I was still listening to Black Sabbath. Maybe I should find myself a local cover band. Could be fun. Ripped jeans and big hair. Leather pants with leopard prints. Hmmmmm.....

Made Me Laugh

Thanks to the brillian folks at b3ta.com for this one....

More Loser's Club Vindication

It so easily could have been a Loser's Club goes to Six Flags story. I was on the fence about going anyway. Two trips to Western MA in one weekend plus an entire day spent with a group of Peeps I didn't know. But WriterGal talked me into it, so...

Everyone was super nice. And by that I mean they were sarcastic and funny in a dark, mean, bitter way. Which meant that they were acting themselves around me. (I'd heard enough stories to know what to expect of their behavior.)

We get there and make a beeline for the Cyclone. And wait in line. And wait in line. Every single ride at the park was backed up for at least 45 minutes. And we're almost to the front and a buzzer starts going off. And then they start running empty trains. Not a good sign. Ten minutes later, people from the very front of the line start leaving. Ride's shut down.

Next ride, the Catapult. This thing looks disgustingly scary but, that's what amusement parks are for. We make it onto the ride, strap in, and then a voice comes over the loudspeaker. Ride's shut down.

After a full five hours at the park, I can only report going on three rides. Of those three, in one I lost an earring, and in another I think I completely freaked out the guy sitting next to me. (He's probably not used to hearing people whispering yoga mantras while waiting for a ride to hurtle you into space.)

So why isn't this a Loser's Club story? Because on the way back to my car, the gal driving me mentioned that her sister- and brother-in-law live in Gloucester. And they're really cool. My age. She should put us in touch. And she and her wife visit every summer and rent a house. We should hang.

So, I had a decent time with people who didn't seem completely horrified at my presence and even made some instant friends in my new home town.

Oh, and I somehow found my earring before exiting the ride to my left.

I believe they call that vindication.

Wild Thing

I know you're going to be shocked by this statement but, yesterday's yoga workshop was amazing.


Sianna is a charged bundle of wisdom and energy. Her meditation for the morning class was on "The Wild Thing." This is a pose that John Friend "developed" and that has been named in Sanskrit as "Am'ing to Moreness" -- being open to always becoming moremoremore. And the way you open to always becoming more is by opening your heart. See?

The whole day really taught me two things: one, my anger and childish NannyNannyPooPooism of the last three weeks (yes, folks, it's a "technical name" kind of day) is just that - childish. Yes, I'm angry and hurt and sad, but there's just no need to wear it on my sleeve like a badge of honor. I need to just "feel the feelings I'm feeling" and continue to live my life authentically. And, two, I need to be gentle with myself and know that even though I'm really scared about all the developments of the past month or so, I am really courageous in being this open to this much more.


Pretty deep words for 9:15 a.m. and no coffee yet. And now I'm off to do the truly yogic thing of going to Six Flags. Here's to riding the rollercoaster of life!

D Day

Tomorrow is the last day at IrishCompany. I'm having trouble envisioning a commute that doesn't involve Storrow or not making the (almost) daily trip to ABP. What's even worse is that I have no idea what my future will look like. On a day to day basis, I have no idea what to expect.

Still, I had therapy tonight and five hours of yoga to look forward to on Saturday. I'll see yoginis I know and love and even my good friend WriterGal. So happiness on the horizon.

Besides, it was time to repaint my toenails. I painted them aqua and plan on wearing the aqua dress that Mr. Zips and I had such a fight about on my birthday. Why not look uber hot on my last day of work? Maybe I'll try to talk BeautifulGirl into grabbing lunch at the Italian place next door. I'd like one last Jimmy Blue-Eyed Special, s'il vous plais.

All Together Now

Amended French battle hymn:

Napolean vanque cinque cent soldats
Napolean vanque cinque cent soldats
Napolean vanque cinque cent soldats
Mais il ne m'a pas défait!

And my own little ditty:

I can't wait 'till my exit interview
exit interview
exit interview
I can't wait 'till my exit interview
'cuz I'm throwing (Napolean)* under the bus!

*this sounds a lot better when you use Napolean's two-syllable name

Set your watches peeps. 11:30 EDT tomorrow.

Whirlwind

My life is moving at such a breakneck pace I can't even keep up. So, I will do my best to categorize.

Yoga

One positive thing to result from the recent past is how much my yoga practice is progressing - both physically and spiritually. I've been taking class a lot more regularly since I have no one to go home to and haven't been spending money on meals out. So I've practically tripled the amount of asana I've been practicing.

The workshop w/ Todd and Ann was completely amazing. The theme for the weekend was Shiva Nataraja, the dancing shiva (embodied in this pose). The focus was on the ecstatic dance through life and everything it brings, both joyous and mournful. What a great meditation. The class itself was very challenging and I think many of us were starting to feel a little frustrated. But Todd kept our spirits up. "Let's put our legs behind our heads. Shall we? Why not?" And, of course, we all laughed incredulously. But, before you know it, I was moving into a full expression of bhairavasana. (Amazing how good that pose feels, despite how it looks!) At the end of class we joined together in a kirtan to Shiva Nataraja and it was so unbelievably moving, uplifting, and beautiful. I practically floated home.

Home

I got the apartment! The one I wanted in Gloucester. Soon I will be living steps from the ocean. Here's a picture of my new kitchen.






And here's one of my new BACKYARD






I'm not sure when moving day will be. Depends on what my current landlords say. It might have to be the weekend of Oct. 27, which means I miss bestest friend's birthday party. Sadness. But in all reality I might not be able to make it down to NJ right now anyway. Ah well, I'll figure it out.

NaNoWriMo

As you can see from my links, I am now an offical NaNoWriMo 2007 participant. 29 days to go until kick-off! NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month - 50,000 words during the month of November. The theory behind it is that most aspiring writers suffer from the "one day" syndrome when really what they need is a deadline. So this gives us a deadline - November 30. The goal here is quantity, not quality. You can always go back and edit something once you've got it down on paper. As the founder of the project stresses, once you're compassionate enough with yourself to allow yourself to write complete and total drivel, you have carte blanche for creating the masterpiece.

I'm taking this challenge really seriously and WitchKnight and HypnoGal and I have formed our own little support group. I'm also hoping to find people in Gloucester or thereabouts that are involved.

I've begun reading No Plot? No Problem! and it's not only insanely motivational, it's also hilarious. I was reading it in the laundromat on Sunday and a woman actually came over to ask me what I was reading that was making me laugh so hard. Beware the flying guilt monkeys!

So, I have a plot and characters and it's all I can do to keep from starting to write now. But that's strictly verbotten, so I'll just keep drafting in my head for one more month.

And, finally, Work

Wrapping up my last week here at IrishCompany. Napolean is in Dublin, which gets him out of my hair. Although the few times I've talked to him he's definitely thrown passive agressive barbs in my direction. (Shocking!) I'm being pretty passive myself this week and haven't even begun cleaning out my desk. But I'll get there sooner or later.

As for the new job, I'm both excited and very very nervous. I even went out and bought two books on Copywriting and working at an agency. I know it's not rocket science, but it is a completely different environment and I'm not so good with the new things. Still, I already have a great support network in place, know people on the inside, and trust in myself. So, here's to leaping into the great, vast unknown and knowing that I'll fly.