There has been so much going on. From choosing to live a hostile-free home to figuring out where I will live and who I want to be and how to get there from here...
And I think alot about how I can/may heal myself. And often, I focus on the time I've spent at Kripalu for yoga, meditation, companionship, understanding. And, yes, those are moments worth savoring and holding onto.
But, recently, I've found myself being less drawn to that and more drawn to the brainy, esoteric, (and, frankly) base humor of my favorite comics and spoken word artists.
I don't know why. I can guess at the reasons. Maybe, I feel too angry, resentful and revengeful of recent events to feel comfortable being "pure yoga girl." Or, maybe, frankly, I'm too caught up in my own destructive self-medication to let loose in a soul-freeing way.
I don't think where I am is where I want to be long-term. But I also know I haven't fully assimilated the extent of the abuse inflicted on me over the past few years.
So maybe I need to forgive myself some indulgence. And. quite probably, I need to start preparing myself to whip my ass back into shape.
But for every season, turn turn...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
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