It's probably no surprise to those who know me that I have a *tad* bit of a problem standing up for myself. Maybe it's because, as a kid, displaying my independance wound up with serious retribution. (OED: spanking). Of course, there are thousands of other reasons that years of therapy (enter angels singing) have opened my eyes to.
All of the causes and reasons aside, the reality remainst that I am still unable and/or uncomfortable voicing my rights.
For three weeks, I've been "working" at a start-up publishing company trying to get their first mass-market title in circulation. I was hired to help with marketing tasks, but the author (read: boss) decided it was more important to "get the book out there." So my job description went from marketing to sales. Just like *snap* that.
So, here it is, three weeks later. I've put in 60+ hours and have yet to see a dime. The woman I deal with on a day-to-day knows that things are uncomfortable, but I haven't quite yet been at a comfortable level to broach the subject.
A wise and knowing friends offered this: "You're not asking for special treatment. You're asking for compensation for services rendered."
She's right. So why am I so worried about going in there tomorrow and asking for a frank discussion? Why do I feel the need to practice it over and over?
I know and believe in my worth as a person and a profession. Why can't I stand up for that worth?
Monday, May 09, 2011
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