Monday, June 30, 2008

Things I Learned This Weekend

I am exactly as high-strung as I think I am.

A travel soda is what the kids are calling it when you mix booze into a Pepsi/Coke bottle to avoid open container issues.

When my stomach hurts, a five-mile run in pea-soup weather is a bad idea.

Earplugs do not block out the bass at 2 in the morning.

Knowing may actually be worse than not knowing.

If you're craving funnel cake, the only thing to do, really, is to go ahead and have funnel cake. It's worth it. It really is.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Universal Mood Swings

Over the weekend, the weather turned gorgeous. Yet my mood was foul. I kept trying to make the best of it, but overhead hung my imagined black cloud of impending doom.

Today, the day was filled with rainclouds and thunderheads. And yet, marvelous things happened.

My next-door neighbor gave me a grill. A big one. All mine.

My soon-to-be roommate told me she's giving me the rent check tomorrow.

I got a call-back on a job. An amazing one. One that I said, when submitting my application, "I could really REALLY do this."

I had what could be considered a fairly enjoyable first date.

One of my favorite yoga teachers is back in town and teaching again.

And it looks like I may have some partners in crime around for Fiesta.

It all collectively reminds me of this riff from Bill Hicks. (I wish - today of all days - that it was the genius of George Carlin (God'vemercyonim), but alas... couldn't find an appropriate one.)

I don't understand anything so there you know what my problem is? I watch too much news, man, that's my problem, that's why I'm so depressed all the time, I figured it out. I watch too much CNN, man. I don't know if you've ever sat around and watched CNN more than, I don't know, 20 hours in one day...I don't recommend that. Watch CNN Headline News for 1 hour, it's the most depressing thing you'll ever fucking do: WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS, RECESSION, DEPRESSION. WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS...Then, you look out your window. <sound of birds chirping> "Where's all this shit happening? Ted Turner's making this shit up! Jane Fonda won't sleep with him, he runs to a typewriter: 'By 1992, we will all die of AIDS; read that on the air. I don't get laid, no one gets laid!'" I'm writing Jane Fonda: 'Will you fuck this guy so we can get some good news, please?' I want to see a well-laid Ted Turner newscast: "Hey, it's all going to work out. Here's sports."

Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Luck of the Irish?

Y'all know how much I love me my sports. And my rabid sportsfans.

Which is why it was SO FRIGGIN' EXCELLENT that I got to be in downtown Boston during the Celtics Rolling Rally today.
Apparently, we won some important game?

There is nothing more awesome than fighting crowds of sweaty, drunk people wearing tanktops and randomly emitting ear-splitting, gutteral groans. Unless it's waiting in a cattle pen to be allowed by a power-mad MBTA security officer onto a train full of those exact same people.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Restoring Faith

I WILL find a way to make this all work. If, for no other reason, because I live HERE.


Where Did All the Shit Go Before There Were Fans?

One of the perks of working for my company is the gourmet lunches that get served up daily. For less than it would cost to go out to eat, we get yummy entrees, soups, salad bar and (my favorite part) freshly-baked bread.

Of course, the downside to this is, it's like being back in High School and wondering who you're going to sit with. And now that we're all one big happy family, we're all trying to figure out how we're all going to get along.

Today's conversation centered - obliquely - on how miserable we all are, how uncertain we all are, and how we're all either hunting or preparing to hunt.

We're Corporate Cougars.

I keep telling myself that this is all meant to be, that The Universe will take care of me, and that it will all work. It's just so damn hard to trust sometimes, you know?

Monday, June 16, 2008

My New Normal

For a few months, I've been taking a class at the gym called Group Power. It's a lifting class using a bar and weight plates and enough reps to make the sweat drip down your face. The format is always the same -- warm-up, legs, chest, back & legs, triceps, biceps, lunges, shoulders, core and stretch. And you do the same routine for three months. The idea is, by the end of the three month session, you've built up strength and increased your weight factor.

The way you remember what weight you should use is judged by your "normal" weight. Your normal weight is the weight you use during warm up. For every exercise, you either add or subtract from your normal weight. And, by the end of the three month session, you should be using a "new normal."

I tell you all of this to illustrate how amazingly adaptive the human animal is. You see, my life is experiencing a "new normal."

I've been living the past few months as if I were all settled. I love my home, I love my hometown. I mostly like my job. I had a budget and a plan for the future. And then, there was this re-org. And news of possible layoffs. And news that my head was very likely on the chopping block.

And so, for almost two weeks, I've been living in this zone of not knowing what's around the corner. Do I have a job? Will I be able to keep my apartment? Will I be able to afford yoga? A vacation? A haircut? Food? Every moment is filled with uncertainty, equal parts doubt and hope.
But, somehow, I've become accustomed to this new life of constant stress and anxiety. It's become my new normal.

I can't - of course - equate it to people living in war zones or disaster epicenters. Except, it kind of is. In all cases, people find ways to muddle through, adapt, make the best, keep on keepin on. My situation is no where near as dire, heroic, or valiant, as theirs. But the principle is the same.

The only solace I am finding in any of this is that, if we keep adapting to our new normals, we will, indeed, grow stronger.

"One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Monday, June 09, 2008

Did Someone Say Heatwave?

It's 95 degrees out and humid as all Eich Eeee Double Hockeysticks. So why, oh why, would the air conditioning at work be running?

Sweat equity anyone?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

It's Raining, It's Pouring

So, the big news at work is, we've been re-orged. Which is corporate for, we have a new boss and no one has a plan, but let's all pretend we're one big happy family and no one thinks layoffs are coming.

My old boss (and sub-boss, and sub-sub-boss) is an awesome human being. He was wearing camoflauge cargo shorts when I interviewed. His approach to life and work seems to be "do what you gotta do." Me likey.

My new boss (and there are no sub-bosses now. It goes from God, to Jerry, to you, to the cleaners) is - by all accounts - not so much with the sane. And, apparently, not so much with the flexible.

Which is why I dragged my sorry butt into work by 8:30 this morning. Of course, 8:30 is still later than I usually get in. But on a day like today, where the air is soft, the rain is steady, my head is banging, and I'm extremely sleep-deprived, how I would have loved it to be 9:30. Or 10:30. Or even a mental health day.

It serves me right. I was up before 5 a.m. yesterday and stayed up until very, very late, laughing and crying and shouting with joy at the teevee machine as I watched Obama's speech. And I kinda sorta broke the rules and had one or many glasses of wine to celebrate. So, I have no one to blame but myself.

But, still. It's really a day for lying in bed with a good book, a cup of tea, and a pile of kitties.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008


OBAMA 08!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 02, 2008

Things You Don't Want to Hear at 9:30 on a Monday

My boss: "I don't know what to say. What do you say when the worst happens?"