Friday, April 25, 2008

Let me be your pincushion

Life isn't easy
For the Pin Cushion Queen
When she sits on her throne
Pins push through her spleen

-- Tim Burton in The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories, 1997

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Primary Earth Day

Please Recycle This Message!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Bad Car Karma

Wasn't the best weekend for cars in the greater Gloucester area.
You may have seen our city's most recent claim to fame:

Actress Bullock Unharmed in Gloucester Car Crash

Then, yesterday, as I was driving through Rockport (ironically enough, interested to see some of the facades put up for the very same movie) I kinda sorta a little bit backed into a pole as I was trying to fit into a very tight parallel parking space. No real damage done, but it spooked me out.

To top it all off, my brand spanking new XM radio isn't working in my car. Seems a fritzing docking station is at fault. They'll replace it, but I have to mail the whole kit n'caboodle back and they'll mail the replacement out. Ground. Seven business days. Nice. And, the nerd that I am - do you know what my reaction was? "I'll miss Rachel's PA Primary Coverage!"

I contemplated going home for lunch this afternoon, since they're filming literally right around the corner from my apartment, but I think that might be pushing my karma uphill a bit too far, don't you?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Pope Mobile and Jesus Disks

Blaspheme. Blasphe you. Blasphe everybody in the room.

As you may have hypothesized, I'm not so much big on the Pope. There's all sorts of reasons for it, which I won't go into here, but let's suffice to say I'm not a fan.

But I find it absolutely, friggin hilarious, that Bush's remarks on his speech were as follows.

"Thank you Your Holiness. Awesome speech."

You mean, Awesome? Like a hotdog? OH. MY. GOD. EDDIE IS PSYCHIC.

Monday, April 14, 2008


So, it's time for the annual Webby Awards. As someone who spends a grossly inordinate amount of time online, I figure I should pay attention to which sites other folks deem worthwhile. But this year, the Entertainment > Humor category has me conflicted.

Announced during Saturday's show, Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me (the NPR newsquiz show, coming to you live from the Chase Auditorium in beautiful downtown Chicago. And here's your host, Peter Segel!), has been nominated. Now, not only am I a faithful NPR listener/supporter but I am a Wait! Wait! addict. So, no-brainer, right?

Except, wait, what's this? Also nominated is RatherGood - a site full of the crazy imagination of one Joel Veitch. I stumbled upon this mad brilliance many, many moons ago through the website/message board of B3TA. B3TA sends out a weekly newsletter and for more than five years it's been the highlight of my working week. As it's mostly British/European humor, well, it's right up my AngloAlley.

So which vote do I cast? Is Joel the little guy up against the corporate behemoth (ha!) of NPR? Maybe I can convince myself that if I vote for Wait! Wait!, subconsciously Carl will know and will finally record his voice on my home answering machine.

Alas, I am conflicted. Perhaps I'll have to go down to the Gay Bar Gay Bar Gay Bar to figure it out....

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Another Quiet Sunday on the Island

I spent the whole weekend on the Cape - I didn't once cross the bridge. It was relaxing, quiet, and productive. Just what I needed. Here's a brief snapshot of some highlights:

Best Purchase I Made
Potting soil, railing planter, and the following seeds: basil, cilantro, oregano, lemon balm, parsley, and firecracker peppers.

Most Inspiring Thing I Did
Went walking in Dogtown Commons (complete with tree huggage) and didn't get lost. (Walking less than five mins. down the wrong trail doesn't count, does it?)

Stupidist Thing I Did
Went for a sunset walk to the beach but forgot to put my keys in my pocket before closing the locked door behind me. I now know from experience which window is the best one to crawl through to gain illegal entry to my home.

Funniest Thing I Heard
A very large man riding what can only be described as "a hog," very fast up East Main Street. While listening to - I kid you not - Air Supply. Loudly.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Breaker 140 - This is Democracy

This makes me grin from ear to ear. I remember going on long drives w/ my Dad, who was the proud owner of a CB radio, and talking to these guys as we cruised over "Jugtown Mountain." They always had something interesting to say (although not always suitable for young ears) and even then I realized the stereotype of the "dumb trucker" was WAY off base. This proves that the men and women who move our goods from coast to coast have a lot going on in those brains of theirs. Big massive shoutout to our truckers!

"Truckers Protest, the Resistance Begins"

More importantly, the activist truckers understand their protest to be part of a larger effort to “take back America,” as one put it to me. “We continue to maintain this is not just about us,” “JB”-- which is his CB handle and stands for the “Jake Brake” on large rigs-- told me from a rest stop in Virginia on his way to Florida. “It’s about everybody – the homeowners, the construction workers, the elderly people who can’t afford their heating bills… This is not the action of the truck drivers, but of the people.” Hayden mentions his parents, ages and 81 and 76, who’ve fought the Maine winter on a fixed income. Missouri-based driver Dan Little sees stores shutting down in his little town of Carrollton. “We’re Americans,” he tells me, “We built this country, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to lie down and take this.”

But the larger message of the truckers’ protest is about pride or, more humbly put, self-respect, which these men channel from their roots. Dan Little tells me, “My granddad said, and he was the smartest man I ever knew, ‘If you don’t stand up for yourself ain’t nobody gonna stand up for you.’” Go to, run by JB and his brother in Texas, where you’re greeted by a giant American flag, and you’ll find – among the driving tips, weather info, and drivers’ favorite photos –the entire Constitution and Declaration of Independence. “The last time we faced something as impacting on us,” JB tells me, “There was a revolution.”

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Head Down, Ear to the Wall, Nose to the Grindstone

You know it's going to be a good staff meeting when it's 4:10 p.m. and your boss comes by your office saying, "We're just going to have a real quick meeting with the team."

You know it's an even better meeting when, after it's adjourned, the departing sound effects (whispered under breaths) include dropping bombs (whoooooosh buuuuuu), gunshots (pa choo pa choo) and the ever popular Psycho Stab (RE RE RE RE).

Ahhhh, life in advertising.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Random Semantic Lesson

In Australia, apparently they don't say a woman "got pregnant" they say she "fell pregnant." There's an interesting semantics lesson in there somewhere, I'm sure of it.