Saturday, April 02, 2011

Redux of Broken Heart Redux

SO.... fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me for the fifth time in a row ... and I really need to change the order of my speed-dial. Once again, GB was coming to town and we could "really spend some QT." Fast forward a week or so and QT was "dinner or lunch." Fast forward to today when I get the text that, "I won't be able to see you." When am I going to learn? When am I going to stop getting my hopes up and realize that, despite his protests that all he has is his word, he breaks his word again and again? Why do I keep forgiving and forgetting? I have no answer. The only thing I know is that the last time I said goodbye to him, it took me years to stop imagining I saw him around every corner. And I just don't know if I have the energy to do that on a daily basis. This behavior makes me miserable, but for a few days at a time. Can I take it on as a fulltime job? I should. All my self-love and independance say that's the best course for healthy self-fulfillment. But just how realistic is it?