I know alcohol kills brain cells, but this is ridiculous.
I think I'm truly losing my mind.
Exhibit 1: Last night, I went to the store. I wanted to get Mr. Zips some sleepy-time tea. But I NEEDED to get toilet paper. (We go through a lot of toilet paper in my house. If FuzzyKitty would learn to pee in the litterbox instead of over the litterbox, we'd go through much less toilet paper. But I digress.) So, I went to the store. I bought tea. I bought bath salts. I bought apple juice. I did not buy toilet paper. I have to go back to the store tonight.
Exhibit B: I was getting dressed this a.m. I am so excited by the warming weather that I was going to go all out and wear a skirt. I sat down on my bed and started putting on my pantyhose. Mr. Zips asks me, "Um, aren't you going to wear underwear?" Oh, right, underwear. Forgot that.
Exhibit III: I went out to grab the daily soup from the dreaded ABP. (I try to get there early because from about 11:50 until 2 p.m., it's absolute insanity in there and you're taking your own life in your hands even trying to ladle out lunch. ) I got to the store. I left the store. Because I had no wallet.
I can only imagine what the gym is going to be like tonight. When you see someone go flying off the treadmill because she's still wearing her high heels, that will be me.