Monday, August 03, 2009


Noticing that, on this, my birthday occasion, I am posting a lot about children and parenting.

I'm not sure if this indicates that somehow, someway my subliminal karmic biological clock is ticking or what...

But, never fear. I will not breed anytime soon.

The world does not need any more MiniMe's.

Trying Not to Judge

On the train home tonight, I had the pleasure of sharing space with one of the most obnoxious mother/child pairs I have ever experienced.

I didn't want to judge. Not the child. Not the mother. I'm not a parent, nor will I ever be. So how can I possibly understand?

But I will tell you this. I am in a LOT of therapy.

At first, I thought "Is this child's name Damien? IS he the antichrist?"

But then I listened.

The mother did nothing but tell this child what he would NOT do. "You will NOT hit me." "You will NOT sit on my lap." "You will NOT scream."

She gave the child no other options. No explanations for what he was feeling or what she was instructing him to do. She used very limited vocabulary and very negative terminology.

She also took three calls from her BabyDaddy - on speakerphone - and instructed him to, "Hurry. I put up with this shit. I'm going to hit this kid."

No, I do not have childre n. I understand that I will never understand the mortification of having a child screaming at full-lung volume in a public place and not being able to do anything about it. Hell, I was one of those kids. (Which is why I wound up in a therapist's office at age 3.) But I do know enough about therapy, parenting, humanity, and psychological development to know that this woman should never, ever be allowed to have kids.

Remember that the next time you ask me if I don't feel like my life is valuable without children.