Sunday, February 21, 2010

Feeling Like Any Accidents are Happy Accidents

I have been a fitful blogger. And for that I once again apologize. I've been travelling. I've been sick. I've been (clinically) depressed.

But, I do finally once again feel like I am on track back to health and vitality.

Despite surviving the stomach flu on the heels of bronchitis (yes, Universe, please, I WOULD like to spend an entire night coughing while curled up on the bathroom floor with my robe and a blanket, desperately trying to keep juice/water/ice chips / Gatorade down...) I finally feel like I have found my way back into the flow of energy that will serve me.

Whilst waiting for my prescription to be filled at the local pharmacy, I noticed a flyer promoting a local Reiki workshop. It was free and being hosted by a practicioner who'd I seen before. So, what the heck.

I wound up going and meeting not one, not two, but about six truly amazing souls who have so much to share with me. We had hours of amazing conversation, truly intense meditation and powerful energy work like little else I've ever experienced.

It was just in time because I was really and truly starting to wallow.

Of course, the Reiki master warned us of the possibility of detox symptoms.

Flash forward to last night's nightmares. Five in all. All of them set in the same general venue, so I know that more was at work than fever dreams or cough-syrup induced dreams. (Yes, I hate to admit it, but I did have to indulge in the TusseinX.) Dreams of GoodBuddy on OD. Dreams of fights with the Parental Units. Dreams of hysterics from CBL. Dreams of travel nightmares. Dreams of getting lost in transit, of falling down stairwells, of being late for departures or meetings. Each time a dream would wake me up, I'd fall back to sleep and re-enter that scary, screwy world.

When I awoke this morning, I was feeling unsettled. And just a tad exhausted. But as I continued to swirl around the dream images, I realized that all of the scenes had brought up issues I've been struggling with. And they all pointed out important - insistent - realizations.

So, maybe they were just dreams. But maybe they were, in fact, my soul detoxing the very important messages raised during my healing.

You probably have to be a NewAge FreakyDeaky like me to buy in to any of this. But I know how vivid the dreams were. And I know how many "hot buttons" they hit upon. And, well, when they're all put together they really did come out like and M. Night Shamalin film. So....

Sunday, February 07, 2010

How Can I Sleep With Your Voice In My Head?

Back and almost back to normal. Still slightly jet lagged - I have no idea what day or time it is, but is that really important?

I feel a tangible difference between how I felt pre-London and now. My shoulders are visibilly less hunched, my voice audibly less tight. There are so many things that likely have contributed to this.

I love the UK. My soul sings over there. People seem nicer. Culture seems sharper. Fashion is more forgiving (curves are good!). Food seems more varied (despite the dependance on mayo). Music is more my type, comedy is more my type, news is more inclusive, focus is less exclusive. Suffice to say, I want to be based there. For sure. For ever.

I love the people I work with. I know this is a shock, but the people I work with are smart and funny and sweet and caring. And they seem to actually like me and respect the work I do. Without questioning me or second-guessing me or micromanaging me. It's refreshing.

All that validation in one week. And then there's these two additional factors.

One. I threw CBL under the bus. No safety blanket. I met with HR and told them what's what. It was a risky move, but I finally came to the realization that it was her or my sanity. And, well...

Two. I am going to see A-ha. Live. And in concert. Two nights in a row. There have always been four people in this world that I have longed to see. Eddie Izzard. Check. Mikhail Baryshnikov. Check. Morrissey. Check. Morten Harkett. dot dot dot

Now is my chance.

There's also some stress in the week ahead. For one, GoodBuddy lands at Logan tomorrow for a few days. I am not honestly 100% certain that I am happy about this. But, as always, it will be good for a story or two.

Stay tuned.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Some Changes

A week-long stint in my most favoritist place in the world is coming to an end. Sadness ensues. But also happiness. Because I really like the peeps I've been priveleged to spend time with and I had much laughter. Also much sneezing as a head cold has been riding around with me for the past three days, but even that's been tolerable. I got to see a wonderful friend who I haven't seen in 8 years, learned more about my colleagues and myself, and generally had a lovely time.

I was also - very kindly - warned that this blog may be a bit "too familiar" for the comfort of our Corporate Parental Units. So, you might see some changes to make it slightly harder to track. And you might see a fair fewer amount of CBL stories - although, never fear, they will still be shared.

I just don't want to get fired before she does.

I'll have more stories of my travels and wanderings once I get home. Jet lag will inevitably ensue and I am sure much of this weekend will be spent in bed, curled up with the kittens.