Surprises Around Every Corner

The best surprises are when people you love do something totally and completely unexpected. Do something that totally reinforces you and your personhood on every level.

I called my family tonight. We're talking again. It's tense, but we'll figure it out. Still I wanted to clear some of the air.

During the conversation, the fact came up that dad had called my therapist. Without asking or even notifying me. Of course she could not call him back without consulting me first. I in no way, shape or form gave her permission to talk to him. No way, no how. Not now, not never.

Tonight we talked about that. About why I felt that he had intruded on the one place that was safe and mine only. **FIRST NAME** is mine." Then I paused. "I should call her *** Dr. LAST NAME. It's disrespectful not to give her that status. I guess I'm too familiar."

And my dad responded. "Yes, **Dr. LAST NAME**. I didn't even know her name until I looked her up on the internet. She has quite the degrees. And some well-respected publishings."

"Yes, I know. She's a smart cookie. "

"And quite attractive too."

"She sure is. But don't get any ideas, dad. She's married." I laughed softly, trying to reduce the tension.

"Oh. I didn't think she was. I mean, um, she didn't look to me like, um, the kind of woman who, um, would get married."

"You thought she was a lesbian?"

"Yes, I guess I did."

"Jeez, I wish. But no, she's married."

"Wait. What? You wish?"

"Yeah, dad. You said it yourself. She's very smart and she's quite attractive. Duh."

"Oh." pause. "Okay then. Fair enough."

Okay, so it wasn't a ringing endorsement. I don't think dad is ready to know the ins and outs of my personal or intimate life. I sure shootin don't think he's gonna run out and march in a PFLAG parade. But he also didn't freak out. And that surprised me in a really, really good way.

When Good Things Happen to Good People

SO...

Sorry, folks. I said I'd post a lot and, well, I just didn't. Lot's of things have contributed to this - the cracked rib, travel, 60 hour work weeks, etc etc. But still, no excuse.

I have lots to report. In fact, I just hung up the phone with a good friend where I made him LOL not once, not twice, but many many times. Most regarding the pretty awesome roadtrip I took with GoodBuddy last weekend. I'm hoping to recreate some of those stories here. But, as they all involve GoodBuddy (and often some not-so-legal activities...) I'll try to space them out.

But above and beyond all that - I need to share the following information: I might have a new boyfriend.

Several weeks ago, I met someone at a local coffee shop. We had good chats and good laughs and exchanged phone numbers. A week later, I hadn't gotten a phonecal. Damn. But then, Saturday morning during a random coffee shop encounter, in again he walks.

He's nice. He's smart. He's funny. I laugh. I think. I really enjoy his company. He's thoughtful and considerate and gentlemanly.

But...

I guess the jury is still out on whether the tummy flip is there. Whether the heart flutters are fluttering or the brain is dreaming. Maybe it's because of all the junk going on with GoodBuddy. Maybe it's because of all the junk going on with ME. Maybe I reallyreally like him and am just scared to put myself out there again.

My life is very full right now. Which is rocking, since before I felt like it was pretty empty and alone. But to go from zero to sixty in three point five, well, it's not always easy.

There will be many, many more stories in the days to come. Whether or not CBL cares, I'll do my best to spend my lunch hour posting - not working excess hours....

Breakthrough

Only two weeks ago I was feeling like there was just absolutely nothing in my life to look forward to. I spend Saturdays and Sundays feeling lonely and then feeling like I have a million things to do to get ready for the draining a demoralizing week ahead. You can imagine that I wasn't happy in my existence.

And, while not all that much has ACTUALLY changed, I am doing my best to shift my outlook. Do my daily affirmations. Look for and find the positive.


Last weekend I had a lovely day with the ladies hanging out in Salem. We enjoyed the sunshine, the atmosphere, the amazing beverages at Jaho Coffee. They have some amazing artists on staff there. Witness:



But most importantly, the day out confirmed for me the things in this world that make me happy. Honest discourse. Reliance on Mother Earth for health and happiness. The belief that energy and attitude is what truly makes existence worthwhile.

And, sure enough, I had some amazing releases in yoga classes this week. I may have actually met someone. I might have made some friends. I've set myself up with a budget that, while restrictive, can provide me boundaries within which I can find true expression (that's a yoga thing...). And most importantly, I've discovered a new way to begin living on a day to day basis.

No, not all is happiness and light. Not all is fuzzy bunnies and fluffy lambies. But for the first time in a long time, I see the horizon of light and it looks like hope.

Namaste.