Wednesday, January 31, 2007

This Is Not a Test

So, Mr. Zips will be spending lots of weekdays/nights at my house over the next couple of weeks. He got a contract gig at a local company doing video editing. It's good money and an even better opportunity. And I am really proud of him for pursuing this.

But to be honest, I'm pretty nervous.

I know he and I have talked about the possibility of living together. But honestly, I'm not sure that I'm ready or even that it's something I will want to do eventually.

But with everyone I tell about this latest development in my personal life, I get the response, "Well, it will be a good test." This even a friend from so far back that he knows I will NEVER get married again.

Why does this have to be a test? Why do we have to test relationships? Why do we have to prove that we can live with one another to prove that we love one another? Is our relationship any stronger or weaker because he doesn't want to talk in the mornings or because sometimes I would rather read a book than watch Alton Brown?

It bothers me that everyone assumes that the conventional lifestyle is for everyone. I am quite happy living on my own, being responsible for my own mess or my own tidyness, taking out my own garbage. I don't need to set up a test run domestic arrangement to know that I love him.

Why can't that be OK?