Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Conflagration of Expectations

I've been pretty bad about posting, but I blame that on the 12 hour work days I've been pulling. Less then one month until product launch and we're still trying to get our ducks in a row. A bit crazy, methinks...

There's a lot of venting and grief that can and probably should happen around the job, CBL and the workload. But I won't go into that right now. Primarily because I worked solid through until 8 pm tonight. Instead, I will dwell on the debaucle that is the Love Live. Or lack thereof...

So, I've mentioned that there might be a New Guy. Let's call him NewYorkBoy. Safe Enough. He's great. He's smart. He's funny. He's informed. He's passionate. He's also got about 20 different Red Alarms flashing above his head....

Here's the deal: We meet. We hang out and things go farther than should have, as I was in a "compromised" situation. We have dinner. I take him out for his birthday. deny him "a present" and he wigs out. Cut to a week later where he's moaning about being in a "bad mood" for a full week and how he doesn't know what's going on his future....

I was feeling really hopeful about this but, frankly, I just don't think I have the energy to deal with this level of insecurty or low self-esteem. I know that sounds terrible, but it's a reality. I'm having enough fun getting my own shit together. I mean, I'm finally able to laugh at CBL and the shit she throws at me. (SERIOUSLY - if I was a VP, I would be ashamed at the number of emails she sends me asking "can you fill em in on this...?") But that doesn't mean I'm ready to take on yet another head case. So, I'll have to have a think about this deal. Do I want to pursue this friendship and/or relationhip? Or do I want to nip this in the bud and lose the possibility of a rewarding friendship? I just don't know....

Have to sleep on it.