More lessons from pop culture

So, I've talked before about how much I love me some Criminal Minds.

Ironically, during my last visit to Amazing Therapist, I mentioned how the new boss, the Good Doctor, would be a prime "unsub" for the profilers to investigate. Complete lack of rationality, compiled with unwaivering commitment to arbitrary rules and an inherent need to prove superiority regardless of conflict or lack thereof. Hmmmm.

Tonight's episode was even more synchronistic.

On tonight's episode, Garcia tries to take on a bit too much. While that is a problem, the bigger concern is that Garcia is surpressing her personality - her je ne sais qua, her joie de vivre, her larger-than-life-amazingly-effective-extremely-competant personality.

The gist of the episode is that Garcia will do her job better - more fully - once she stops trying to be someone she's not and starts being the person she is.

The Good Doctor wants me to "be more professional." No more jokes, no more comics, no more inane, personal banter during business calls.

Unfortunately, those traits are what make me exceptionally good at my job.

I can call in favors when needed. I can ask questions or make requests that other folks can't. I get to know - and respect and like - the people that I work with so that work seems less painful and more joyful. And expressing these aspects of my personality allow me to get joy from my work. And a joyful employee is a motivated employee.

If The Good Doctor could, for just one moment, let his "unsubness" take over, he'd see that he is undermining that which could make the job, the team, the company more effective.

I loved seeing Garcia find herself again.

More Avoidance

Sorry - still trying to delay the logging onto of the VPNage.

Here is Morten (by the way, did I mention I met Morten Harkett?) in fabulous voice in one of the most amazing vocal feats ever (3:28 - 3:45 - seriously):



Sighhhhhhhh

Avoidance of Work

My new boss - Prima Donna that he is - has decided I am not allowed to work from home. It's an office job, he tells me. But, I reply, I can do everything at home I do in the office. But, he replies, it's an office job. Which is kind of like saying, you can't because you can't because I said so. In the world of 2010 telecommuting, it makes no sense. But it seems to stoke his ego and make him think he's in charge, so whatevs. I'll just be like water when it encounters a rock. I'll go over, around, through fizzures, and eventually still make it to the other side intact and integrated.

All that wonderful meditative therapy aside, I cannot pretend that his bullshit don't make girlfriend mad. And so even though I fully plan on working from home tomorrow (no one else will be in the office and he's in AZ, so who's to know?!?) I am avoiding returning to the world/worry of work.

One of the not-so-admirable ways I have of disassociating myself with work and other, perhaps more grounded, parts of myself is by becoming attached to my radio family at Sirius/XM's The Virus. I know it's not exactly NPR, the WSJ or the FT. But, it's F'ing Funny. And sometimes that's just what a girl needs.

Witness their take on the recent Social Media Sensation that is/was Double Rainbow Guy:

Still Smitten - and other reasons I'm a bad blogger

I checked back at my stats today and realized - holy shit! I'm a bad blogger! Of course, given my recent "woe is me" storyline, probably few readers left. Still, I should have more of a work ethic, I suppose.

Anyway, there are various and sundry reasons I've neglected my humble little ranting forum of late.

First off - Girlfriend be in love. Sure, it's way too early to tell how this could work out with LRMan. But, damn, I could get used to this. Can you imagine me -- ME! -- enjoying having a man fall asleep on my couch and not hating that I am washing up dishes while he snores? Holy heck - call an intervention!

Second - massive work craziness. BREAKING NEWS: CBL is now CFBL - crazy former boss lady. As of last Thursday, I now report in to a Prima Donna Sales Guy who may be equally as bad. The move makes absolutely no sense unless they are trying to remove everyone possible out from under CBL while they eradicate her. But, in the meantime, things are pretty FUBAR. Stay tuned.

I was letting this distress me for awhile, but the weekend away really did wonders. Just being at Kripalu, seeing the shining faces, integrating the joy, witnessing the nature, receiving nourishment from the food, spending way too much money on the clothes/incence/jewelry (okay, maybe not that part) is healing in and of itself. Add to that yoga, meditation and restorative and Whoosh! massive insight.

Third, it's summer! My best friend and daughter, Ma Bell, have been up to visit. Fiesta and Fourth fireworks have been showered, I've been biking and hiking and all sorts of other outdoor activities. (BTW - will have to write an entire post on the "explosive laughter" that was the BF and MB visit. It's amazing that we're not banned from CVS for life...)

So, in short, I haven't been posting, but life has been full of joy and wonder.

What I realized in part this weekend is that I should share THOSE stories too. Not just what's wrong, but what isn't wrong.

We should concentrate more on that. N'est-ce pas?

Zero to 60

... or actually 52. But that's an inside joke.

So, after a long, ill-hidden chase, I finally lured the prey into my enchanted web of evil... by making him believe he was chasing me. It's a twisted thing, but we women are pretty derned good at it.

The problem of course, is that I've known for a long time that we would fit well together. And for his part, I think he does really like me and is enjoying the "courtship" stage.

That being said, this thing is moving fast. And that's where my insecurity comes in.

My M.O. is to get all caught up in the "gooey" phase and call it love waaaaay before it deserves the title. Then, by the time I realize it, it's three weeks late and a hundred short.

So, I'm trying to keep a handle on this one. But it's really hard. It's summer, the only AC in the apt is in my bedroom, and my roommate has practically moved into his girlfriend's house. So, how on Earth should we spend the evening...?

Just try telling a Leo to take it slow...

More Comedy

My family has a joke about Law & Order. We call it the Doink Doink show. As in the sound that comes on right after the theme song.

My parents have exhausting schedules. As does my brother. So when they come together at night to wind down, they like to watch some TV. And often, there's nothing any good on. Fifty-seven channels and nothing on...

But, at any given time, in any given place, there is an episode of Law & Order on.

And that's why I think these two following clips are so DERNED funny.


John Mulaney - Law & Order

D-Dub MySpace Video

Jokes.com
John Mulaney - Law & Order
comedians.comedycentral.com
Futurama New Episodes Ugly Americans Funny TV Comedy Blog

Karma's a Bitch, Ain't It?

So, here's a funny story about how shit can really come back to bite you.

Yesterday, after a 10 hour day of interviewing, I decided I didn't have the energy to commute back home. It was a selfish decision and, as such, I will not be charging it to the company. Yet, I still made the reservation around 6:15 pm.

I get to the hotel and there are two front desk "team members" on staff. One is helping one with a standard check in. The other is helping a woman with an attitude from hell.

And I quote: "This is unacceptable! I made this reservation a month ago. I am a platinum member. Well, of course not! This happens every damn time. I am so sick to death of you people. This is ridiculous. I am appalled at your servie. I gave you my platinum card. Well I can't imagine why you don't have my platinum card on file! I requested a suite on the conceirge floor and I should be upgraded! What do you mean it is all sold out?!?"

I think you get the picture. I could, of course, do nothing but catch the eye of the abused front desk clerk and give him a sympathetic glance.

When it came my turn to check in, I received the following welcome:

"Hello, and thank you for joining us. You'll just be here the one night? Well, we have your gold member on file, so thank you. Your room is on the concierge floor, 24, and your room is 24XX. The lounge serves cocktails until 10 and after that, softdrinks, milk and water are available free of charge. Have a lovely stay ma'am.'

So, yeah, membership has its priveleges. But so does being nice, I guess.

The writer in me

As you may well know, I love me some stand up comedy. And the comedy I love is those quick. quippy, one liners. The ones that make sure you're on your toes. Eddie Izzard. Jim Norton. Jim Jefferies. Joe Rogan. Bill Hicks. Jon Dore. Harland Williams. Some well known. Some not so much. But all of them have one thing in common: it's all about the nuances.

So it seems a non-sequitor that I bring up a movie now, but it isn't really. Saw Iron Man 2 today. If you haven't seen it, do. The writing was amazing. The one-liners thrown in throughout the movie were hysterical. At one point, my friend scolded me: "it isn't that funny." No, really, it is.

The humor was quick and sharp. The details were amazing. But, like so many things, the details were there for those who were on their toes.

Chatting with a friend later we realized, "If only the world were as sharp as us..."

OK. I'm a bit of a narcissist. But so is Tony Stark. So there.

Knot Tying Demonstration And Class With Gardy Winchester Video

This post practically wrote itself:

"Little brown eel comes out of the cave... Swims into the hole... Comes out of the hole... Goes back into the cave again... It's not too good is it Chief?"

What are you, Captain Knots? Capt. Tying Knots? Anyone needs a knot tied they go to you."

PS - this awesome guy saved my computer from death. Weird weird world....

PSS - Props to Capt Joey for recording and posting this.

TMI

I went for an early morning bike ride this a.m.

Because I was not thinking clearly whilst purchasing my new bike, I forgot to add in a bottle clip. So drinkage is difficult while cycling.

Ergo, I usually stop at the Rockport General Store and down a Gatorade before tackling the second half of my route.

Today, an old salty seadog followed me right into the store. Feeling rather spritely, I noted that "it's way too hot to be wearing coveralls."

He grinned at me - several teeth missing - and gave me a wink. "You'd be surprised. They let the air ... circulate."

OK - I know I invited that one. But really? Ew!

Manhattan Skyline

It's always darkest before the dawn, right? Happy to say - dawn is upon us. And then some!!

My friend observed late last night that, "you okay? your voice sounds a bit rough..." Well, yeah! I've been screaming like a sixteen year old for three hours!

Yesterday was Day One of the two day A-ha extravaganza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I queued up around 3:30 for a doors opening at 7. I met amazing peeps and had loads of fun. I became an instant hero because my ringtone is Take On Me. We shared stories, compared notes on favorite songs and albums, learned where we were all from and what brought us to the show, what we did for a living and what our pet peeves were. Instant bonding. (Which, of course, is different than instant bondage!)

Doors open, and I make a beeline for the merchandise table. $125 dollars later, I've got two shirts, a poster and a bag to show for it.

Ran into my friend from line and we devised a strategy. First night, front row against the rail, second level. From there, we could take in the entire show. She cried at her songs, I cried at mine. We both cried at the end, when the band stood together, arms around each other, and shouted GoodBye. Night two would be the chance to bum rush the stage, close enought to watch the sweat pour down their faces.

After the show, I waited - not exactly patiently - for the band to come out. One by one, they did. Mags. Pal. And then - finally - Morten.

I got all of their signatures. And when Morten came out, I got to look him in the eye and say, "Thank you. Thank you for everything."

Because they've been the soundtrack to my life. Scoundrel Days came out when I was a teenager and needed to go in my room and be angry at my parents and shout loudly along with Cry Wolf. And Analogue came out when I was going through a rough break-up. And East of the Sun West of the Moon came out when I was trying to figure out who I was and what I believed in.

So I thanked him. And then, the most amazing thing happened. Morten Harkett, the only unblemished love of my life, looked ME in the eyes and said, "You're so very welcome."

It was only a moment to him. He probably forgot it the second after it was said. But it will remain with me forever. Because at that moment, I found a true glimpse into what made me ME.

I drove an hour into Manhattan to experience something important to me. I navigated my way from Jersey to the Lincoln Tunnel and then through the busy streets of New York City. I stood in line with strangers and wound up with friends. I found someone I totally connected with. I chatted with drunken fanboys. I got the signature of each member of a band I've loved forever. I walked to a luxurious hotel and from the downy comfort of my bed, I shared my exultation with friends across the country.

I am strong. And powerful. And passionate. And confident. And capable. And dedicated. And funny. And insightful. And likeable. And worthwhile.

I'd forgotten all of this.

It took a concert to remember.

Life is funny, ain't it?

What did YOU hear?

Upon me telling GoodBuddy (yes, we still speak, altho eggshells are being tread upon) that I was reading Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh, he heard "Thick, Not Hung."

Some minds are just too sick to understand.

Long Duk Dong anyone?

Spring is springing - or at least gusting

It's turn the clocks ahead one hour night. I usually hate this night. Because, while I love me some daylight, I also love me some sleep. When I was growing up as a kid, my dad and I had an inside joke. He would come to wake me up five minutes before I needed to get up. And when he did, I'd always beg for "magic minutes." Which was the low-tech version of the snooze alarm. But that's how much sleep meant to me - magic.

Now I'm older. But I still love sleep. And now that I've started having amazingly vivid dreams if and when I do sleep, I like it that much more.

But tonight, it seems that's not gonna happen. I've watched a movie, listened to old 80s tunes, cooked up some veggies that were about to spoil and even caught up on some overdue email. nd yet, here it is, almost 6 (but really five) and I'm wide awake wilson.

My new hire starts on Monday and I really must be on my A Game for that. Especially given all the specialness that has ensued and will likely continue to ensue over the coming weeks. So an all-nighter wasn't really in the cards. But, I guess you play the cards as the Universe deals them.

Did have a really solid interaction with the roommate though tonight. I think the problem is that 1) neither of us seems to be really good with confrontation and 2) we're both feeling a bit awkward about where we are in our lives. I'm in a period of recover after a massively long bout with all sorts of notwellness. Although I still have a long way to go - and not stopping at Kappys on the way home was a step in the right direction! - I see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I can't speak for him, having little to no knowledg of his life or habits, much less his inner turmoil. But I suspect he's also dealing with some stuff. So maybe - and now's probably not the time to reach a hard and fast conclusion - but maybe it's worth he and I sitting down and having an actual conversation. Otherwise, the awkwardness might fester. And that's never a good thing...

Anyway, I digress. The topic at hand was sleep - or the lack thereof. I really really want to get some quality R&R. But how do you turn off the brain when it's churning like this? It's not like I'm suffering under any delusion that getting work done at 6 am on a Sunday will be of a high calibre. So, perhaps, I take a few deep breaths. Break out my notepad and make a PLAN for the work I'm going to accomplish tomorrow.

Once the Ambien wears off. If it ever kicks in.

Sheesh - this stuff killed Heath Ledger and it doesn't even touch me. I've either got way too much Anna's Taqueria Super Grlled Veggie in my system or I'm Batman. What do you think?

I love good advertising

Went out for a pedicure with a lost and found friend. I am so glad she is back in my life. She's wonderful and bright but we also can just be silly and frivolous. What my mother calls "having a sense of whimsy."

We went and got pedicures. We'd tried to get them last week, but there was a mix up at the spa. So we got them this week - for free. Ain't nothing better than someone pampering your feet and knowing it's not costing you a thing. They don't even expect a back-rub in return.

After the "hard work" was over, we had the important task of sitting under the polish dryer machine and flipping through magazines. If you've ever spent any time in a spa or salon, you know that most of the reading is not hi-brow. You won't be finding Dostoevsky here. What you will find is plenty of Us, People, and Entertainment Weekly. We paged through picture after picture of celebs being beautiful, being horrifying, hooking up, breaking up, and entering rehab. Also, lots of great ads. Most of them for things that would make you more beautiful, more sexy, more appealing, or less fat. And then there was this ad.

First thought - funny as all get out. Second thought - who are the market researchers who decided to pay for placement in this magazine. Seems a little ... odd. But, then again, I didn't remember one single underwear, perfume or makeup ad. And I blogged about this one. So I guess they earned their paycheck on this one.

Sir Anthony, WHY?

I can barely bring myself to watch the Academy Awards tonight after the looooongest 2 hours of my life tonight.

I'm a little late in alerting you to this, but in case you haven't subjected yourself to Wolfman yet, don't. The acting is overly dramatic, the scenery is dark and foggy and - seriously - you could cut three-quarters of the scenes of people walking, riding, limping, running through the woods and still have a mediocre movie.

But, I did get to spend an afternoon with a lovely friend. Although the theatre didn't serve pretzel nubs so that sucked a bit.

I heard a funny bit on Laugh Attack today. The comedian was talking about all these movies he hears about that cost X million dollars to make. And I quote: "Dude. You don't need to spend that money making a movie. I would pay $8 to go to a room to see $Xmillion in person. Fuck, I'd pay $10 if the extra $2 was added to the total!"

Says something about our priorities, huh?

How's that healthcare bill coming?

Let the Sun Shine In

Hello all,

Well, yes indeedy, it's been an awfully long time since I posted. And, I am VERY happy to say, it's because I've been very busy. Not, as you might expect, keeping up with work (although that has been keeping me on my toes), but also with a SOCIAL LIFE. Yes, folks, seriously.

Here's the deal. About a month ago, I found a prescribable person (a nurse pracittioner) who actually LISTENED to my story, examined my history and made a judicious and reasoned decision about the medicines I was/am on. You see, it seems that although the anti-depressants I first went on seemed to help, given my condition (and I am not ashamed to admit to the diagnosis of bi-polar, look it up, descartes, dickins, carrie fisher - great company all!), anti-depressants by themselves often tend to exacarbate the condition in the longtime. However, when combined with additional meds - voila! And I have to tell you - I feel great!

I've gone out to a Reiki workshop and met amazing people. I've been to the Cape Ann Farmers Market board meeting, I've met up with friends I haven't seen in years, I've taken day trips, I've eagerly enjoyed lunches out with the girls....

I realize that these things seem par for the daily course of normal human beings. But for someone who was lurking in her "cave" - my bedroom with blinds and dark curtains drawn - under her bedcovers as long as could reasonably be allowed and who avoided any and all contact with the unkown outside world, these steps are huge, affirming and, frankly, amazing.

And, if that is not enough, CBL isn't driving me crazy. Yes, she's still insane. Yes, she is still up to her antics. But whatevs. She is what she is and I yam what I yam and ... I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a VeggieBurger today.

So, yes, I still drink my herbal teas and eat my kale every morning. But there is indeed something to be said for reasonable, considered, and measured meds.

I pulled open the curtains today and saw the bright sunshine and let it shine on my face.

A Tale in Two Parts

So, I have yet another tale to tell. This one will be in two parts. One happy. One not so much. Such is life.

So, yesterday, I had a total Losers' Club day.

Started off with a 7:30 am conference call, taken on the 7:33 train into Boston (express from Salem!).

Two hour meeting with CBL to go through budgets, punctuated about every 20 minutes with her telling me wildly inappropriate stories about my coworkers and her boss.

Then, the fit really hit the shan. We - make that I - needed to pull together materials for an upcoming "train the trainers" event happening in Mexico next week. Basically, we need to teach people how to teach people who teach people. There will be 20 of these "Master Trainers" in attendance. I had to create ONE folder for all of the trainers to use during their training and ONE sample folder of all of the materials they would be handing out when they actually started training people themselves. The problem is, a lot of the documents were duplicates. And some looked only very slightly different. It has to get to MX by Saturday so it HAD to leave yesterday. It was an operational nightmare.

So, I'm in the midst of all of this chaos, documents piling up around me, the phone ringing off the hook, me walking miles in circles around my cube (in heels because "sneakers are inappropriate workplace attire) putting together packets of information... At one point CBL comes in to ask me, "um, what's the name of the marketing platform we use again?" I was at that very moment on the phone with one of my copy/print companies telling them they produced 2x as many of one doc we needed and none of another doc we needed. I looked at ye olde CBL and nearly screamed. "Um. Can't do this now. Sorry. No." And turned back to my phonecall.

Later, I did actually her office, armpit sweat-stained and hair disheveled to answer her question (whilst waiting for alluded to document arriving). This must have kicked in the guilt genome because a few minutes later, she came over to my office, leaned in the doorway and casually asked (as I wore treads into the carpet) "anything I can do to help?" Um, yea. Join the assembly line, bitch.

OK, so, finally I get it all done, boxed up and ready to go. Oh yea - the mailroom guys are all new so I have absolutely no confidence at all that it's going to get there on time. But que sera sera.

I missed the 6:30 train, no matter, I'll catch up on email. Ten minutes to 7 - before the lights go out and the cockroaches come out - I left the building. I hoof it to the train station, stopping in at a nearby burrito joint on the way to get a veggie burrito to go.

The guy behind me orders a chicken burrito and we kill the more than 10 minutes waiting making small talk about the crazy weather, the election, and the earthquake relief efforts.

I get to the train station, tired, cranky, dissheveled and hungry. I unwrap my burrito and take a huge, honkin bite.

It's the chicken burrito.

I barely make it to the public bathroom in time to vomit and then begin dry heaving. Have I mentioned, the last time I ate meat was almost 20 years ago and the meal that turned me was chicken?

So, yes, folks, that was my day. I finally made it home, 14 and a half hours after leaving it. I was cranky, I was clammy, I was hungry, I was tired, and I was sore. But, it also gave me the best line of the year.

Me to BFF: "I have to tell you my Losers' Club story. I swear, I think I had a worse day than Martha Coakley."

BFF to me: "Niiiiiiiice!"

So, You Thought You Could Decorate

I now have a new and deep insight into some of the neurosis that is my psyche. I enter the following into evidence:

I realize that driving around, taking in the holiday decorations and ooohing and awwwing is an American tradition. And, sure, we all have our own opinions on whether or not we like this or that display. I, personally, enjoy the more traditional looking homes but I also appreciate inventiveness and creativity. My brother, on the other hand, likes it loud, bright, gaudy and glittering. Think Clark W. Griswold in Christmas Vacation.

This year, my family was making our way to the annual trip to The Nutcracker. We see it every year, at the same theatre, performed by the same company, and eat a pre-theatre meal at the same restaurant. Because my family is NOTHING if not a slave to tradition. And, on our way from restaurant to theatre, we take the back roads.

Here's a snippet of the conversation during said drive through beautiful, picturesque neighborhoods.

Scene: Large house on a hill, lit by white candles and twinkly white lights.
Mom: "Isn't that lovely!"
Dad: "Big houses. Must cost a fortune."

Scene: Two story home, outlined in colored lights
Mom: I really don't like when people just line their houses like that. It seems so tacky.
Dad: Well, they have no imagination. It's low-effort decorating. Just a few strings of lights, some staples and you're done.

Scene: Trees in front of home draped in multi-colored lights in large, looping arcs.
Dad: Ugh. I hate that. It seems so willy-nilly.
Mom: It's almost like they just toss the strings up over the branches and who cares where they land. Really, they could put SOME effort into it.

Scene: Old oaks in front of a house wrapped, root to tips, in tiny white lights.
Dad: I really don't like that look.
Mom: I don't either. Why would you want to outline a bare tree? They probably leave the lights up all year anyway.

If you've been through even half the therapy I've been through (and here's hoping you haven't had to be!) you would also sit back and observe all of this with wonder and awe appropriate for this holiday season.

I could wax on with psychobabble and therapy language here, but that would just be overkill.

And, finally

For the hat-trick posting victory ...

Why don't coffee shops/breakfast places ever put a veggie breakfast sandwich onto the menu? I understand (in theory) the need for the baconeggncheese and the sausageeggncheese, but HOW HARD is it to slice a tomato or put some peppers and onions into the mix? For crying out loud, if EggBeaters can do it, so can you!

Not For Nothing

I was leaving my cousin's funeral on Saturday - fun family Thanksgiving that was! - and approached a red light. There, in the crosswalk ... a couple of 'Mo's. Seriously, what is this about??????!!!!!!