In the meantime, I have apparently fallen in love.
I have a bad history of acting a bit too soon. Still, I am sooooo happy. Suitor is brilliant and funny and thoughtful and caring. And he seems to like me equally. We keep trying to impress each other, which is weird, but also indicative of how we seem to mutually appreciate each other.
To be honest, I'm falling massively in love with him. Too much so for my own best interest. And too fast for my own good interest. But he makes me so happy and challenges me mentally and philosophically and makes me laugh and, well makes me horny..... So ...
Things have been going so well for me lately that I can't believe my renewed meditation doesn't have a part. But, whether it does or or doesn't, I am so happy. And I'll figure the rest out later.