A Dickensien Christmas

Well, I hate to admit this, but I had a wonderful Christmas.

The family was finally real with each other. The reality is, we're all in tough financial times. And so we had to scale it back this year. We say that every year, but this year was true. We didn't even "do" stockings. All that said, we laughed a lot and had a really good time.

I don't seem to be able to hold onto the sentimental BS that I usually succumb to. I didn't sit and stare at the Christmas tree, the ornaments so full of memory and meaning. I didn't wake early to hide Secret Santa gifts around the living room. I didn't even want to watch It's a Wonderful Life. I don't know why.

But regardless, I talked to my Mom and Dad - really talked. I shared with them the thoughts and feelings I have about life, the Universe and everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but still...

A few days of rest and relaxation really provided some perspective. I'm not exactly sure what I want and how I go about figuring that out, but I do have some clarity. GoodBuddy's visit last night not withstanding...

I need to figure out what I'm going to do for New Years. I have a couple of options: 1) go to yoga and meditation workshop and celebrate the new year with "positive potential" 2) go to party I've been invited to and celebrate the new year in social interaction with people who support the higher Me 3) celebrate the new year the way I have in recent history, with some quiet ME time, reflecting on the past and future, enjoying The Twilight Zone and not having to deal with people. The third option, of course, is probably the one that does me the least amount of good, but is honestly the most appealing....

We'll see.

The Week that Was

Today is Friday and I am officially on vacation for the rest of the year.

This would make any normal person happy but it has made me REALLY happy. Because I have had a very eventful week.

Here are some highlights:

My neighbors had another party. In which the bass was so loud, it vibrated our shared wall and toppled things over. Including my Christmas tree. I now have an irreplaceable headless angel. Just try Googling "Christmas Angel Tree Topper Brown Gold" and see what YOU come up with.

I can tell you that, yes, it is in fact far better to be pissed off than pissed on. Also, that sometimes both happen in one night and THOSE nights suck.

When GoodBuddy wears his orange hooded sweatshirt, I know we're going to have a fight.

And, finally, despite the fact that she is "on vacation," CrazyBossLady is STILL sending emails.

And yet, today, as the snow fell hard and thick on Gloucester and I (of course) walked up to see my ocean and my rock in the wintery splendor, I can't help but feel that all is right with the world. Maybe it's all the yoga I've been doing. Or all of the napping on the comfy couch with the Christmas lights aglow. Maybe it was that beer I had at lunch. (Hell, I'm on vacation and the sun's over the yardarm somewhere.) But I am warm and fuzzy and happy and healthy. And FINALLY in the Christmas spirit.

Cue Dean Martin....

What are the odds?

In June, my colleague faxed in a tradeshow contract to an organization's office. Unfortunately, that organization outsources its tradeshow management through an event agency. The paperwork never, apparently, made it from Point A to Point C.

I realized this today.

I called our contact at the organization and left her a voicemail. It was a 202 (Washington, DC) exchange. The voice on her voicemail had a thick Eastern European accent. Her name was Natalia.

Two minutes later, I received a call from a 202 phone number and the woman on the other end had a thick Eastern European accent and identified herself as Natalia ... Well, I didn't wait. I launched into my tirade.

"I have the paperwork here. We faxed it in. It should have been forwarded to the event agency. Are there still booths? Was our Amex charged? Please explain what's going on!"

It tooke me nearly five full minutes to grasp the fact that this was a DIFFERENT Natalia. A Natalia that, yes, was from Eastern Europe and, yes, she also worked in Dupont Circle, and yes, was involved in higher education conferences, and yes, I had called her and left a voicemail this morning. But NOT a voicemail about pre-existing tradeshow registration since, apparently, they only released their exhibit prospectus yesterdayand this was a different conference event altogether....

OOPS.

But, seriously, what are the odds? Only me. Only today.

Two Things:

One:

If you have both your personal phone and your work Crackberry set to a ringtone by your favorite band AND if your favorite band is all over your iPod AND if your favorite band begins with an A (and thus is always first on your Music library) ... DO NOT throw a hissy fit if you hear a melodious voice filtering out of your purse. It could - maybe - possibly - just be your iPod on Shuffle and NOT your boss calling at inappropriate hours.

Two:

I am OH SO VERY tempted to post a picture on me and Good Buddy at the reunion. Not because I look good. Drunk girl not take so very pretty pictures. But just because I know how worried/paranoid he gets about people reading this here bloggy blog and putting two and two together and figuring out who he is. And I'd love to see his face when he saw the picture. Actually, no, I probably really wouldn't.

Drat. Don't you hate it when you use common sense?

Jittery

A long but mostly uneventful trip to DC. Sure, there was the awkwardness of having BBB and CrazyBoss meet up during dinner. But for the most part nothing untoward was said and, despite the fact he thinks she's kind of cute in a MILF-like way (blechblechblech), I think I survived the week in tact.

This weekend was another story. The entire time I was massively on edge and jittery. I have no idea why. I could feel the tension and anxiety in every part of my body and kept getting body trembling, panicky attacks out of nowhere.

And I have no idea why.

I had a lot of little errandy things on my agenda but nothing hanging overhead that I was worrying about. Nothing looming on the horizon for the workweek that I was worried about. So why the jitters?

I kept thinking there was something going on energetically. I often have a touch of the premonition. But friends are in top form, GoodBuddy was in a good mood and the family, except for some headcoldsnifflies, seem fine.

I went for a long walk around the island. (It was COLD last night!!!) and that seemed to help. Hearing the ocean waves crash and smelling the briney air whip against my face did a lot to give me some perspective.

Today I'm feeling a little better but definitely still a bit on edge. I really need to figure out what's going on. Because this is getting really old, really fast....

Expectations

And here's a new question:

Been a hellacouple days. Seriously - 14 hours each yesterday and today. I haven't had a minute nor the energy to work out. I'm still recovering DOOD.

Tomorrow, I get up and fly out to DC for another business trip. Boss wants to hang, of course. Here's my query:

I know I have to spend time meeting with her. It's a business trip, after all.

But there are some amazing Anusara yoga studios in the greater area and, technically, the classes they offer are after business hours. So, what's the policy here?

Is it cool to say I'm on the clock from 8 am (when the show opens) until 5 (an hour after the show closes) and then I'm on my own? Is it kosher to jet off to a yoga class at 6:30 or 7pm during a business trip? What's the policy here? I honestly don't know... Especially when CrazyBossLady want to be my friend...

I better figure this out soon. Leave for the airport at 8 am...

Data Overload

WOW.

That's all I have to say.

WOW.

What a long, strange trip it was. All things considered - and I know this will disappoint so very many of you - it was a pretty decent, incident-free trip. But STRANGE.

Thanksgiving was fun. My uncle's girlfriend accompanied him to dinner which, somehow, made him relax. So he was less of an ass and more of a playful, happy guy. Lots of fun. My best friend and her amazing daughter came and we had a great time giggling hysterically, as is our wont. There was only a minor tense moment with the Mother Figure but I dealt with that fairly effectively, if I say so myself.

The really only tense time came when GoodBuddy got lost on the way to NJ. I know - I should have expected this. From the first time we met back up over a year ago, he's been hopeless with directions. I blame the sloppies. But, he made it to the hotel, safe and sound. And then, miraculously, he made it to my parents' house in time to say hello.

"Well, if that wasn't as fucking awkward as all hell."

Well, yea, it kinda was. But here's the reality. He's been there more for me in the past few years than my family has. So if it comes down to spending time with him over time with them, guess where my heart lies. Plus, he's good in bed and lets me swear.

So, the weekend was wierd. We didn't do Kids' Day. For the first time in a hundred years. And this caused Mom some serious weeping. But it was for the best, truly. Why should we walk around a mall, not buying anything, just for the sake of it, when we know she can barely walk?

I spent most of the time at the hotel with GoodBuddy. He was pretty relaxed during the entire weekend and, well, I hated the thought of him spending time alone. We had a great time at the reunion and he was attentive as all hell. Which, of course, only made me love him more. We did have some tense moments wondering what the hell we were doing but, well, the drugs and booze tended to mitigate the anxiety. (I kid!)

All things considered, here's the amazing thing. We're still talking. After something like 10 plus hours in the car together on the way home - and this was no easy ride by any stretch of the imagination - we're still communicating. For someone who once believed that she needed to marry a guy in order to make him put up with me, that's pretty huge. More than halfway through the drive, GoodBuddy looked over and said, "well, it's more than five hours into this marathon roadtrip together. Your thoughts?" I responded: "I should probably ask you that question." And his response? "Two thumbs up and room to spare."

Wow. Holy hell. No, seriously. WOW.

Pictures will follow as soon as they're posted and ready...