I've been doing a bad thing lately. Actually, by not doing something, I've been bad. I haven't been writing in my journal. I'm not sure why I've been so bad about it - I know that journaling helps me clarify my thoughts and exorcise my demons. And lately I've had a lot on my mind, so I should be keeping it up. But I haven't been.
Which is probably why I slept about a grand total of eight minutes last night.
Work is stressful, in a weird sort of boring way. I'm worried about why I'm not being worked hard enough. Is it just that my account doesn't have much going on right now? Or is my boss trying to passive-aggressively communicate something? The work I have done has been well-received, so I am truly at a loss to figure it all out....
And then, of course, there's the personal life. Mr. Zips came up to "visit" yesterday. Still not exactly sure why - the pretext was to drop off some framed pictures he had done. Maybe that was all there was to it, maybe not. But the net net was a very awkward, very difficult afternoon. And he didn't even offer to pick up the tab for lunch.
But, despite a well-meaning coworkers certainty that if I saw Mr. Zips I would have bad karmic reactions - I had a great karmic reaction.
After Mr. Zips left, I decided I didn't want to sit at home and wallow. So I went out for a walk and then down to the local Mexican restaurant (site of the infamous "swinger" proposition). Well, this time, I ran into a group of people who are 1) into sustainability and the organic movement locally and 2) apparently have a cute, intelligent, single friend "who would just love me." Business cards were exchanged, plans were tentatively set. So, even if it doesn't work out at all, at least now I know people in town. Real, bonafide friendly types.
So, I had all these intense, conflicting things going on (and that's not even touching on the curfuffle's of close friends or my mother's pending cataract surgery) and instead of writing I just watched a John Malkovich movie and went to bed. And woke up. And woke up. And woke up.
Tonight, I'm gonna write in my journal like a MoFo and then sleep like a baby.