Thursday, March 29, 2007

It's Not All Hooey!

People who know me know I'm a wee-bit flaky. I believe in energy healing and karma and auras and all that other good stuff. I have an altar in my room with representations of Athena, Brigit, Sekhmet, and Ganesha. UFO-themed music plays when I enter a room.

But there are times when I think - there's no WAY breathing or meditating can make me happier or get me through this [insert work project here] better.

But today, at yoga, that belief was challenged.

By all accounts, I had a bad practice. My hip is really sore and I wore bad shoes to work so my feet were cramping like nobody's business. (You try balancing when you have to keep your duck-footed feet turned straight and your arch feels like it's crumbling!) I fell out of a bunch of poses, couldn't hold some deep poses very long and generally just didn't perform like a dedicated yogini. But, as the instructor went around and encouraged us to breathe and focus, to stay still and soft even as our muscles shook or the sweat began to pour, I GOT IT.

In Virabhadrasana II (Warrior II) I inhaled deeply. My leg was quaking, I was positively drenched with sweat. Every fiber of almost every muscle in my body was on fire. And I just stuck it. In and Out. No judgement. If I needed to come out of it, I would. If I could stick it out I would. I wouldn't think about it, I would just do it.But whatever happened, I would breathe.

And there it was. I went in and out of the pose as my body dictated. I didn't think "I can't get out of this pose because people are watching and I need to appear strong." Or "I can't possibly hold this any longer, teacher, Let Us Out!" I just let the moments pass.

And, if I can do that on the mat, why can't I do that off the mat? How beautiful a world would it be if I could approach all adversity like that?

Oh, sure, it's easy in yoga when I've got the community behind me. It's quite another when Napolean calls me at 5:25. But, maybe, one day....