Thursday, September 29, 2011

Wow - Look at me!

I have an 8 a.m. Skype interview. (So, why, you ask, am I blogging at 10ish? Hello my insomniac friends.) It's a really interesting position and one I think I could be super successful in. And the decision process will be relatively short - they want to make an offer next week. I think I'm the lead horse in the running, but one never knows.

I spoke with Amazing Therapist about this today. The application process - and exponentially, the interviewing process - is really putting yourself in a vulnerable position. In reality, there are many factors at play. Are they a good fit for you? Are you a good fit for the role? Do you have the qualities they need or are you over-qualified and likely to become bored? None of these are "self judgement questions." If you get offered the job, it's because it's a good fit. For you. For them. If not, well, some puzzle pieces don't size up.

But it is SOOOO easy to take it as a judgement. If I don't get hired, there's something wrong with me. Something deficient. Maybe I didn't answer the questions right. Maybe they didn't think I could do the job. Maybe...

So, I'm in that precarious situation. I want to believe I want and can get this job. But I also don't want to find myself devastated if I don't get it. I sent my resume in less than a week ago. I haven't really had time to mull over the myriad possibilities. But I know that, if I'm told they've offered it to someone else, the likelihood is I'll go downward tilt, at least for awhile. So my homework for this week is to keep in mind exactly how demanding this whole vulnerable process it.

Because no matter what happens or what they decide; look at me. I sent in my resume. I went through the trouble of searching the job boards. I personalized the cover letter. I dressed up and went on an interview. I put my portfolio up for review. I exposed myself to a delicate situation.

And so, Amazing Therapist has asked me to hold this truth: No matter what happens, I've been brave. Really, fucking brave.

That said - I'm still asking friends and sundry to send me some serious light for this one.

9.5 hours and counting...