I know I sound like a broken record, but it's been so great to get so much time to focus on my own stuff. Getting back to the gym, fixing up odds and ends - like FINALLY changing the lightbulb in my kitchen overhead... - and sorting out my life.
Problem is, I've got so much backlog from when I was slaving at a desk that I've got tons of "my stuff" to attend to. And, because I'm me, I want to get it all done. This Week. And that's causing almost as much anxiety as life in a cube.
My stand-in therapist (yea - regular Amazing Therapist back in March!) had a great suggestion: make every decision on a case by case basis. So, do I go to the gym in the late morning and hang around feeling grubby? Or do I blow of the gym to shower and feel fresh and clean? These questions may seem so mundane, but they really do help alleviate the heart attacks.
I've had a couple of things - big and small - on my to-do list. What I'm slowly learning is that I really do need to think about them in manageable chunks. I made it to the gym today. I got a replacement bulb for that damn kitchen lamp. That was enough - just having the bulb. But, then, I got the inspiration to try to install it and, voila, there was light. But I would have been satisfied if not proud just to have bought the bulb.
And, yeah, I still want to build a shelf to organize my pint glass collection or a filing cabinet to tuck away all the rapidly accumulating unemployment paperwork. But that can wait. I'll do my best to spend the rest of tonight reading, chilling with the kitties and basically bumping on a log...
I'm not going to fix or organize or unwind my tangled life in one week or even one month. But, I'm (painfully) learning the patient approch to getting things done in the right priority. Without killing myself or winding up in the hospital.