Zero to 60

... or actually 52. But that's an inside joke.

So, after a long, ill-hidden chase, I finally lured the prey into my enchanted web of evil... by making him believe he was chasing me. It's a twisted thing, but we women are pretty derned good at it.

The problem of course, is that I've known for a long time that we would fit well together. And for his part, I think he does really like me and is enjoying the "courtship" stage.

That being said, this thing is moving fast. And that's where my insecurity comes in.

My M.O. is to get all caught up in the "gooey" phase and call it love waaaaay before it deserves the title. Then, by the time I realize it, it's three weeks late and a hundred short.

So, I'm trying to keep a handle on this one. But it's really hard. It's summer, the only AC in the apt is in my bedroom, and my roommate has practically moved into his girlfriend's house. So, how on Earth should we spend the evening...?

Just try telling a Leo to take it slow...

More Comedy

My family has a joke about Law & Order. We call it the Doink Doink show. As in the sound that comes on right after the theme song.

My parents have exhausting schedules. As does my brother. So when they come together at night to wind down, they like to watch some TV. And often, there's nothing any good on. Fifty-seven channels and nothing on...

But, at any given time, in any given place, there is an episode of Law & Order on.

And that's why I think these two following clips are so DERNED funny.


John Mulaney - Law & Order

D-Dub MySpace Video

Jokes.com
John Mulaney - Law & Order
comedians.comedycentral.com
Futurama New Episodes Ugly Americans Funny TV Comedy Blog

Karma's a Bitch, Ain't It?

So, here's a funny story about how shit can really come back to bite you.

Yesterday, after a 10 hour day of interviewing, I decided I didn't have the energy to commute back home. It was a selfish decision and, as such, I will not be charging it to the company. Yet, I still made the reservation around 6:15 pm.

I get to the hotel and there are two front desk "team members" on staff. One is helping one with a standard check in. The other is helping a woman with an attitude from hell.

And I quote: "This is unacceptable! I made this reservation a month ago. I am a platinum member. Well, of course not! This happens every damn time. I am so sick to death of you people. This is ridiculous. I am appalled at your servie. I gave you my platinum card. Well I can't imagine why you don't have my platinum card on file! I requested a suite on the conceirge floor and I should be upgraded! What do you mean it is all sold out?!?"

I think you get the picture. I could, of course, do nothing but catch the eye of the abused front desk clerk and give him a sympathetic glance.

When it came my turn to check in, I received the following welcome:

"Hello, and thank you for joining us. You'll just be here the one night? Well, we have your gold member on file, so thank you. Your room is on the concierge floor, 24, and your room is 24XX. The lounge serves cocktails until 10 and after that, softdrinks, milk and water are available free of charge. Have a lovely stay ma'am.'

So, yeah, membership has its priveleges. But so does being nice, I guess.

Par example

The writer in me

As you may well know, I love me some stand up comedy. And the comedy I love is those quick. quippy, one liners. The ones that make sure you're on your toes. Eddie Izzard. Jim Norton. Jim Jefferies. Joe Rogan. Bill Hicks. Jon Dore. Harland Williams. Some well known. Some not so much. But all of them have one thing in common: it's all about the nuances.

So it seems a non-sequitor that I bring up a movie now, but it isn't really. Saw Iron Man 2 today. If you haven't seen it, do. The writing was amazing. The one-liners thrown in throughout the movie were hysterical. At one point, my friend scolded me: "it isn't that funny." No, really, it is.

The humor was quick and sharp. The details were amazing. But, like so many things, the details were there for those who were on their toes.

Chatting with a friend later we realized, "If only the world were as sharp as us..."

OK. I'm a bit of a narcissist. But so is Tony Stark. So there.

So much stuff, so little time

Had an amazing session with awesome therapist this a.m. Basically boiled down to this: Got ridiculously emotional b/c I am wicked tired but handled it very well and once I get some rest I'll probably be OK.

And she's right.

I feel good. Exhausted, but good.

I have an interest in pursuing a friendship with someone who is a technogeek but uber cool. Lives in Seattle but that might be overcomable.

Got an email from a cutey who lives in Toronto which is completely logistaclly doable.

Am soon to enter into season of hangage with someone who is inherently attractive.

A week away from Pride, suggests endless possibilities.

As I said in therapy today, "Who knows what the future holds." It is SO VERY AWESOME to say that and mean it...

Dear Universe,

Thank you.

As you know, I had a very loooooooong two weeks, prepping and working the biggest tradeshow of the business year. And I'm tired. I was supposed to take Monday off to recuperate, but CBL couldn't do without me. As such, I'm REALLY tired.

This a.m. I felt too tired to even move. Woke up out of a bad dream an hour before the alarm went off and - due to kitties being hungry - could not go back to sleep.

By the time I got in the shower, I was literally crying I was so exhausted.

Just a few minutes later, my work phone rang. Amazing Database Administrator. A firestorm was brewing and he wanted to run his response by me. And, as always, in the process he made me laugh.

And realize once again just how many blessings I have.

So, Universe, thanks for having my back.