Conditional Existence

You may have noticed I haven't posted in awhile. Which, really, isn't practical since I have nothing these days to do....

You see, I am officially, completely and utterly unemployed.

The ax finally dropped. In a very unceremonious fashion, I was downsized, laid off, made redundant. Last Tuesday. I've been public welfare recipient for almost a full week.

Ironically enough, on Wednesday, I had a face-to-face interview with a company that I really (really, really) want to work for. So the layoff saved me having to call in sick.

I think the interview went well. I know that it went well enough to get me to the next - and final - round of selection. It's down to me and one other candidate. Which means it's at least 50/50 in my favor. I'd like to think it's more than that since the job listing is pretty much a checklist for my resume. And, have I mentioned?, I really love the company, the division and the job.

However, I have two more phone screenings and a personality profile to make it through. So the soonest I'd hear would be Wednesday.

So, in the meantime, I must - I have to - operate as if I'm full-fledged unemployed. Scrimping and saving. Emailing resumes like there's no tomorrow. Getting a job as a waitress. (I tentatively start a week from tomorrow.)

It's a rough place to be in. Because when I'm feeling good (which is, shockingly, more often than not these days) I trust and believe that I will get this other job and actually come out ahead. But when I'm feeling down which, unfortunately, I was today, I feel like there's just no hope.

So, I guess I'll keep spamming the job boards, harassing recruiters, and studying the menu of the local Seafood joint. And, of course, doing yoga, going for walks, imploring the Universe and doing everything I can to get the stars to align in my favor.