When Paranoia Happens to Good People

I've been overcome with some random paranoia for the last few days. Maybe it's because I spent time at the family homestead, rife as it is with mental illness. (No, seriously. Diagnosed. Medicated. Now you know why I might be the way I am...)

Anyway, I've been paranoid that Mr. Zips is mad at me. I've been paranoid that Napolean is about to fire me. I've been paranoid that my complete and utter slackage has been noticed at work. I've been paranoid that I really don't want to be a writer.

So, I haven't been the easiest person in the world to deal with of late. I study asana, but it probably won't amount to much unless I put the yoga sutras to work in my life. Eh?

That said, I do have a couple of things to be proud of/ thankful for.

I finished up my submission for writing group so early that I've sent it to myself to review before I send it out to everyone. And I didn't even have to fall back onto my "safety story."

I finished up an entire box of dental floss. This might not be a big thing for most people, but this is the first time I have EVER achieved this milestone. I'm taking my health seriously. Go me!

I have an interview and a book club meeting tomorrow. New job opportunities and new friend opportunities all in one night!

And, finally, a mixed emotional tale:

Mr. Zips is massively stressed out about the upcoming Best Friend's Wedding. He left tonight so that he could get home and prepare -- do laundry, clean room, pack, etc. etc. And while it saddens me that he won't be here to snuggle with me tonight and that he's so stressed about this brue ha ha he's literally losing sleep over it, there is a part of me that is vindicated. Maybe now he understands why I freak out every time I have a long ass business trip. Maybe now he gets it when I stress about cleaning up the apartment or using up food I've got in the crisper or stopping at the grocery store now instead of when I get back... I don't want to be vindictive, but there is a certain amount of pleasure in the "I told you so" reality.

But alas, it's nearly midnight. Time to go to bed and hopefully dream dreams that are not rife with paranoia. A girl can hope.