Catharsis

Finally find out why I've been so tired. Turns out my iron count is WAAAAAY low. Not only could I not give blood, but they asked me if I wanted to get some. (kidding) I'm not sure why the anemia is rearing its ugly head again. Stress? Lack of access to fresh, organic kale? Does bourbon have iron in it? (I KNEW I shouldn't have stopped drinking!) Seriously, though, this explains a lot about what's been going on with me lately.

Part of the problem is, despite being so unbelievably exhausted, I've been feeling very stressed about my lack of preparation for the Christmas holiday. Anyone who knows me knows that I am Christmas Girl. I love the movies, the songs, the lights - all of it. I even enjoy going to the mall around the holidays, even if I have no shopping to do. I LOVE the Christmas spirit.

But I spent yesterday panicking about when I'm going to have enough free time to decorate my apartment, when I'll have a chance to watch the classics, when (in short) I'm going to have time to get into the holiday season.

Then, once again, everything I needed fell into my lap. I tried out a new yoga class and it was amazing. During my favorite-to-say pose - Eka Pada Rajakapotasana - I surrendered and started crying. And then I got home and The Grinch was on TV.

I sat on my new comfy couch, Peeps on my laps, and sang the Who Christmas song and cried and cried and cried.

And then I went to bed. I was asleep by 9:30.

Need I say? I feel great this morning.

New Stuffage

As part of my commitment to making my new house a home, I invested in previously mentioned furniture. To prove how wise a decision this was, I offer these before and after photos.

Old couch:

New couch:

Methinks I made a great decision. What do you think?

The best part (well, the best part is how comfortable it is. But the second best part) is that a friend of mine got in touch with me and asked me to freelance for his dad's company. I'm putting together a proposal now and, if all goes well (and there's no reason it shouldn't) I'll get the gig AND the paycheck. Under the table. Hello new living room set all paid for. No baseball required.

I just love how the Universe takes care of me.

Oh yea, just for kicks. Here's the view from the beach that's exactly .75 miles from my new home. Sigh.

And here's my new office. Sigh more.

Homes and Such

I am back safe and sound from New Jersey. And cheers to Amtrak for offering a far superior, far more civilized alternative to air travel. Despite the flamboyant theatre major who sat opposite me on the trip down and broke into showtunes apropos of nothing, it was a fairly uneventful trip there and back.

All in all, it was an uneventful weekend for the most part. My uncle is, not surprisingly, still a racist and a bigot and, even though I informed him several times that I was a flaming liberal, he didn't get my warning and kept saying things that more than enraged my sense of propriety. Here's hoping the NSA hasn't actually wiretapped me or my parents' home.

I got into a small argument with my mother that was fairly consistent as far as our arguments go. I get upset because she says/does something that makes it all about her. She asks why I'm upset. I tell her. She makes it all about her. I get more upset. She cries. (Variation here is to fake a heartattack, collapse, or otherwise indicate an imminent death.) I relent and apologize. She makes it all about her. We both end crying, telling each other we love each other. I understand EXACTLY how unhealthy this pattern is, but there you have it. Family dynamics at play.

This time, the argument started when I mentioned that it hurt that they were acting like I should have my shit entirely together when, um, I just 1) had my heart trounced 2) started a new job 3) moved to a new house 4) in a new town. Somehow, this turned into a 10 minute sob fest on how much she missed my aunt and how she will never have a friend like her again and how lonely she is without my aunt to talk to and how she thinks about her every day and will never get over her death. I mean, don't get me wrong. I am very sad that my darling mom feels this way, but it was kinda beside the point of the discussion in the first place. N'est-ce pas?

(Note: for those that think I'm a cold hearted biotch, let me point out that my aunt passed 10 years ago. Still sad, but not exactly a fresh wound.)

But I'm happy to report that that was the low point of the weekend. We still managed to have a great time at Kids' Day, although I took the world's WORST PHOTO EVER. I hid for a few hours on Turkey Day itself and got some novelling done. And, I hung out with Best Friend in Taco Bell for 2 and a half hours, like you do. (Oh, yea, losers club mixes up their grilled stufft burrito's, but that's another story. BF, I'm sorry you had to watch me dig chicken out of a bean-filled tortilla!)

Now, I'm back at home and thrilled to be here. I'm still adjusting to life in a northern town, but I am filled with hope that it won't be long before it really does feel like a home. Because every year, NJ feels less and less like home. It's sad. But it's true. This little girl is growing up.

Tis the Season to be Jolly and Joyous

Fa La La La.

Bonus points if you can name the movie that's from.....

It's almost here, my favorite day of the year. And I should be happy and frolicking and greatly anticipating the stuffing, the pie, and Miracle on 34th Street viewage (the original, if you please). And I am. At least theoretically I'm looking forward to it.

Too bad I am so damn tired.

This weekend wore me out. The furniture arranging and rearranging. (Pictures to follow). The cooking, cooking, and more endless cooking. The meeting random people at a party and smiling politely for more than an hour while strangers made overly emotional and sentimental speeches extolling one another's virtues. The highlight of my weekend was going running along the beach which was unbelievably gorgeous and inspiring but, not surprisingly, also tiring. I went to bed by 10 p.m. only to be awakened repeatedly by my next door neighbor watching the game, loudly, with his buddies.

It doesn't help that it's week three of NaNo which is traditionally the time that most authors crash and burn. I've had my document open all day and only managed to write another 1K or so words.... I keep saying that I'll write on the train on the way to NJ, but I know that I will likely get lulled to sleep by the motion. That is, if I'm lucky enough to get a seat....

I wish I weren't this cranky. I wish I was full of joll and joy.

But for now, I just want to escape home onto my comfy new couch and curl up for a warm winter's nap. Too bad I've got spinning first. And I must spin. Peanut butter pie made an appearance at the party. And you know what the only thing better than peanut butter pie is? More peanut butter pie.

PS -- Muppets Christmas Carol. Of course....

Pros and Cons

So, it's been a busy month for ole Kalesy. New job, new apartment, new town, and now ...

NEW LIVING ROOM SET!
Yep, I did it. Heck, I'm already $4k in debt, why not be $6? I got a big fat raise, right? (ha!) But, seriously, I got so tired of walking into my wonderful new apartment and thinking, Damn! I hate my sofa. None of my furniture goes together and I just don't like anything. So, a trip to Jordan's later, and all new stuff will arrive on Saturday. Ooh Bah.

This makes me happy because it will arrive just in time for the holidays. But sad, because it will arrive just in time for the holidays.

I have one of the busiest next couple of weeks ever on tap. Furniture delivery, NaNo, trips to NJ, no days off work, and - oh yea - trying to improve my yoga practice in there somewhere. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

And, to top it off, I've been invited to a co-worker's pre-Thanksgiving party this Saturday. Not only is it BYOB and a potluck, but it's a $20 cover! I really SHOULD go - it's good for the career b/c lots of work people will be there, my boss is really into us seeming like a family and I've really got no good excuse not to. Unless madly, desperately, completely NOT wanting to is a good excuse...

I'm so tired. I have to make my entire Thanksgiving dinner and somehow transport it on Amtrak to NJ. The last thing I want to do is make an additional meal and then pay $20 for the privilege of sharing it....

I sound like a crank pot. I realize this. Can I blame it on Wilford?

If I go, I might meet wonderful, fun, amazing people. If I don't go, I might get some sleep. If I do go, it might be awful and I'll spend the whole time being a wallflower wishing I hadn't gone. If I don't go, I might lose a powerful professional opportunity.

Decisions decisions.

While I ponder, I will look at pictures of my new stuff.... *sigh* (Ignore the hideous lamp above...)