One More Word From Bicycle Chick

Do not attempt this bonehead move. When you're on a narrow road, one lane each direction, no breakdown area and potholes on the side of the road... IF you see a cyclist and IF there is approaching traffic ... DO NOT attempt to pass the car in front of you, even IF there is a dotted yellow line.

Seriously. Bad things will happen. DUDE.

Unexpected Sunshiney Day

Actually, I'm not sure if the sunshine was unexpected or not. But I didn't expect to get to enjoy it the way I did. Drumroll: Kalesy was spontaneous today!

I had a recording session for a radio spot this morning. It was my first ever radio project and the client has been a bit of a complete and total P.I.T.A. lately. So much so that people are completely obsessed with ways in which we can keep pleasing them and thus not lose the account. Because we all know what will happen if we lose the account....

BUT, I digress. So, it was my first radio spot. Client's fussy. I had to be in the city by 9ish, which meant catching the 7:15 a.m. train which meant getting up at the A.C.o'Dawn. I knew my boss was going to be there to oversee (read: micromanage) and also would know what time we called it a wrap. Thus, no real chance of slacking off.

Well (and here's where the unexpected came in). .. the talent was a total pro and nailed it on the third take. The client loved it and signed off almost immediately. We wrapped by 10:45. My boss informed all of us that he had a lunch meeting and thus, "just might not make it back to the office" and we should "do what we gotta do." (Translation: Slack Away!)

One call to Good Buddy (he has no idea this is what I call him, so if he's reading this - now ya know) and I arranged for some hang out and enjoy the sunshine anywhere but the office. Since we didn't want to drive around all afternoon looking for parking, we wound up at his homebase marina, sitting on the deck, enjoying the breeze and the boats.

As he so eloquently put it: "It didn't suck."

True, I had to catch the 1:15 train back to the office. True, I had on business-appropriate attire (not the sunbathing outfit of choice). True, I couldn't enjoy an adult beverage as 1) want to go to yoga tonight 2) had a pretty important project to wrap back at the office and 3) policy of no booze on a school day/nite. All that aside, I got almost two full hours in the sun with some good conversation and no worries.

So, for all the times I've said I couldn't be spontaneous - didn't know how - Phooey on me!

Our Purpose on Earth

I celebrated Memorial Day in several ways.

I went to the beach and laid shamelessly in the sun for several hours.

I ate tortilla chips and salsa. Which for some reason is now somehow more American than Mexican.

I just so happened to paint my toenails green.

I read Kurt Vonnegut's Man Without a Country. Which is uproariously funny. And also very sad. And in which he says this: "How beautiful it is to get up and go out and do something. We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different."

He also says this:

"By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many lifeless bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas."

Goals

It has been a really busy week. I'll tell you all about the Loser's Club Has Cushy Job @ Ad Agency another time. For now....

I blew off the gym tonight to enjoy a Happy Hour at work. And happy I was. But then I got home and had all this extra energy from my early "dinner." (Do Doritos count as dinner? Well, now they do. Beetis be damned!)

So, to burn off said extra energy, I went for a run. We had a row of thunderstorms today and the thick clouds were just clearing off the ocean. The sun was burning off the smell of rain and there were multiple rainbows. Running along the surf, squinting into the setting light, smelling the low-tide scent, I was once again amazed that I live here.

I didn't make it the full way 'round. It's about 4.8 miles, a little more if you take detours (like I did) down onto the various beaches and rocky cliffs. My goal is to run the whole thing and then some by end of summer. Even if I don't make it, I'll have a glorious time trying.

(Keep clicking on the "plus" and you can see my route....)


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When Worlds Collide

The other day, Opie from the Opie & Anthony Show mentioned he was watching MSNBC during a segment where Rachel Maddow appeared.

Ten minutes of discussion ensued.

And then my head exploded.

Those two things should never, ever again appear in the same sentence.

Minolo What?

As previously noted, I am not exactly a girlie-girl. I waffle back and forth between feeling empowered by this or belittle by this. After all, what 30-something professional woman has absolutely no desire to see Sex and The City - The Movie? "The film version of the Candace Bushnell book that became Darren Star's Emmy-winning HBO series that became (from 1998 to 2004) must viewing for everyone who ever cared about shoes, hair, nails and men — in that order."

But, I digress.

I've been contemplating this lack of feminine wiles lately as I look into the morning mirror. Despite getting 8+ hours of sleep a night, eating (fairly) healthy and getting tons of exercise, I still have blotchy skin and puffy eyes. Now, this may be attributed to allergies, which have hit me with a sledgehammer this year. But maybe I'm just getting OLD. Or, at least, older.

I've even contemplated trying out the make-up.

This weekend will be a little experiment. I have to go to the mall. (blech!) Duty calls: I have to drop off the yogaHOPE press release to the Lululemon store. While I'm there, I might just try to mix business with pleasure. Even though I could never afford to purchase the goods, I might - just might - get a makover. See what they can do for me. I mean, what can I lose?

Maybe just my fine lines and wrinkles.

And since it's summertime, maybe I'll gain me a few evenings out on the town....

Halibut Point State Park

Well, I'm not a mom (thank the powers that be!) and I couldn't make it to NJ this weekend, so there's no celebration for me. Instead, I decided to enjoy the gorgeous weather with a visit to Halibut Point State Park and a visit to mother ocean. Thanks to the low pressure systems we've had the last few days (see, buddy? I'm learning my nautical speak....), the waves are really strong and it was really powerful to be out there, surrounded by water, water, and more water.

To The Woman in the Red Saab Convertible

It's nice that you think I'm so skinny. Really, I appreciate it. I mean, after all, that's part of the reason I go for bike rides in the first place. But, honestly, cross my heart and hope to ..., I wouldn't be offended if you left just a little more breathing room when you roared past me doing 50 in a 30.

*This* is why they pay us the big bucks...

Without going into enough detail here to lose my job or anything....

It amazes me the amount of money that people in advertising get paid. I mean, really, a lot of what I do all day is surf the interwebs trying to "stay on top of trends" or doodle in my notebook hoping I come up with exactly the right turn of phrase that will compel all diabetics (sorry, people with diabetes) to immediately put down whatever they are doing and sign up with one particular durable medical supply company. Like NOW muthereffers!

But then something happens and I remember why we earn a King's ransom. We deal with clients.

Example:

One client has found a very convenient loophole to upcoming regulations that, while legal, is kinda nasty and underhanded. But that's okay because the competition is even way more nastier and underhandedity. So we were instructed by the client to compose a newspaper ad that kinda sorta would hint that if people didn't SIGN UP WITH US NOW!!!!! they wouldn't be able to get their medical supplies. And thus, THEY WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!

So, I wrote the ad - kept it just short of blood-red dripping type - and we sent it off to the client.

It came back today with this note: "This ad sounds like you're trying scare people into joining by making it seem like they won't be able to get their supplies if they don't sign up with us. Can you try it again but make it less scary?"

I got the email. I read it. I laughed. And then I said, "thank you." Because at least now I know I can deliver to spec.

By the way - here's the award-winning headline they've asked us to use: "Attention Diabetics!" Wow - so glad I read all those copywriting books.....

More Deep Thoughts from Jack Handy

As per usual, my weekend soundtrack was brought to me by NPR. And every half hour I got to hear Hilary Clinton talk about her plan to roll back the gas tax.

I'll admit, I don't have the exact quotes here - I'll try to find them - but the gist of her soundbite on Sunday News Talkshows was thus: "No one made a stink when Congress gave a break to Bear Stears. Now that I want to authorize a break, there's all this bru-ha-ha."

So what's she's saying is, in essence: no one argued when one bad decision was made. So they shouldn't argue when another one is made. Especially since I'm in favor of this bad decision.

Now, it's been a long time since I took my logic class in college. (Hey, it counted toward the math requirement and was more interesting than geometry). But Hil's arguement sounds, at best, a little dodgy to me. She isn't propping up her decision with rationale and facts in favor of the tax relief.She's just saying: no one argued with Congress last week, don't argue with Congress this week.

Does this make anyone else nervous?

Things, Life, Whatnots ... Cluster Effs

Haven't posted in awhile. Life has been a bit crazy. Here's a quick and dirty recap:

Eddie Izzard was AMAZING. I still randomly think about his lines and laugh out loud. Except the annoying wankers that kept getting up to pee. Why, oh why, Orpheum, do you allow beer during the show?

Work has been hellish. Walked into a clusterfuck. Walked out of a clusterfuck. Here's an idea: let's produce really craptastic work on the fly without sitting down to talk about it calmly and strategically and then pretend we're surprised when the client pisses all over it....

But in other news, I'm making new friends at my gym and I'm seriously contemplating going back to teaching. I finally have the body for it (again) and I now know enough people that it wouldn't feel totally wierd. Of course, I'll probably have to get a new gym once work moves back downtown, but that's a year away...

I hope one and all had a merry Beltaine. It's May, It's May, the Lusty Month of May...