In, ss they say, the weeds

Third official shift and it was a double. And, oh!, what a double it was.

Seemed mgmt hadn't thought to take into account it was a 3-day weekend.

10:30 the doors opened. 10:30, the onslaught began. It ended around 9:30. P.M. Do the math. By the time the restaurant was cleaned and re-set, it was a solid midnight.

Long day and, yes, I am making good use of my Tiger Balm. But it was also a good day.

Sure, there are still lots of things I need to learn about the menu and the computer and...

But, I also showed my true colors today. It was rip-roarin busy and only once did I slide into the weeds. And more times than not, I was able to take on more than I offloaded.

And by the end of the night, the GM came up to me to thank me. "Not many newbies would have handled tonight as well, much less with a smile. So thanks."

I take it less as praise and more as validation, if that doesn't seem too vain. Tonight also showed me many lessons that will be hugely important as I look to build on my "personal vision."

And, let's be honest. It was a hella day. But I have $200+ in my pocket I ddn't have this a.m. Guess I don't need to grovel for a loan just yet. Just yet...

I am Beet Girl

I had my second "official" shift at the restaurant yesterday. Unlike all the other lunch shifts I've seen, this one was jammin'. I had more parties in the first hour than I'd had total the day before. And these peeps were buying glasses of wine and beers and starters and desserts. Cha Ching. Not to mention they all seemed to be totally chill - which equals more cha ching.

Here's where the beets come in. We have a couple of great salads on our menu, but two fantabulous ones: A warm beet and spinich salad and an organic mixed greens salad. For me, I love beets, but sometimes spinach makes my mouth feel dry. So I usually get the mixed greens add beets. It's a fantastic combo but I don't really suggest it.

When diners order a salad, I often try to upsell by suggesting grilled chicken or a bowl of bisque to add to it. Never "why don't you add beets?". But for some reason, every salad I sold yesterday asked to add beets.

After awhile - no surprise - the kitchen started asking questions. "What the hell is up with the beets?" "Are you pimping the beets?" When we had only two orders of beets left, my last party of the day ordered ... drumroll ... two beet salads. No lie. The second they told me their order, I burst out laughing, right at the table.

Best way to earn a tip ever? Sign their bill "Thanks, Beet Girl" when dropping it at the table. Never fails.

PS - walked with $75. Not too shabby for a winter's lunch shift!

How to be Type Lowercase A

I know I sound like a broken record, but it's been so great to get so much time to focus on my own stuff. Getting back to the gym, fixing up odds and ends - like FINALLY changing the lightbulb in my kitchen overhead... - and sorting out my life.

Problem is, I've got so much backlog from when I was slaving at a desk that I've got tons of "my stuff" to attend to. And, because I'm me, I want to get it all done. This Week. And that's causing almost as much anxiety as life in a cube.

My stand-in therapist (yea - regular Amazing Therapist back in March!) had a great suggestion: make every decision on a case by case basis. So, do I go to the gym in the late morning and hang around feeling grubby? Or do I blow of the gym to shower and feel fresh and clean? These questions may seem so mundane, but they really do help alleviate the heart attacks.

I've had a couple of things - big and small - on my to-do list. What I'm slowly learning is that I really do need to think about them in manageable chunks. I made it to the gym today. I got a replacement bulb for that damn kitchen lamp. That was enough - just having the bulb. But, then, I got the inspiration to try to install it and, voila, there was light. But I would have been satisfied if not proud just to have bought the bulb.

And, yeah, I still want to build a shelf to organize my pint glass collection or a filing cabinet to tuck away all the rapidly accumulating unemployment paperwork. But that can wait. I'll do my best to spend the rest of tonight reading, chilling with the kitties and basically bumping on a log...

I'm not going to fix or organize or unwind my tangled life in one week or even one month. But, I'm (painfully) learning the patient approch to getting things done in the right priority. Without killing myself or winding up in the hospital.

Touche!

-K

It's a Brand New Day

No, I'm not quoting the Dr. Horrible song (although it IS fantastic and if you haven't seen the movie yet, what is wrong with you?). But that is truly how I'm feeling.

I spent most of last week wallowing. Work was on hold for a few days because of schedule issues and, for that reason, I seemed to hit a wall. Maybe it was because I was once again in limbo and I am sooooo not good at being in limbo. True Leo-style, I need to be in charge and on the prowl.

But this week is already so much different. The new schedule is out (although the scheduling process is already making me twitchy. People can be SO disorganized! But more on that later...). And now that I'm on the schedule, I can have a structure to my day. I know what days I have commitments and what days I don't and what I need to get down and how I should go about getting those things accomplished. Feels purdy derned good.

There's lots of progress on the other front too. Met today with a Business Strategist who specializing in advising entrepreneurs. He gave me some fantastic ideas for setting out on my research, identifying options and obstacles and concrete next steps. All at once, I feel like my dream isn't really all that far off.

So, it's strange to say that I am busier now than I was when I was "working." Perhaps because the work I'm doing now is building My Life Business. And not serving someone or something else. I have a chance to work with and for things that make me feel good - like the Farmers Market and the Time Bank, organizing my "stuff" that's been laying around in piles far too longs and FINALLY getting back in shape.

So, it's been several Brand New Days and I am confident they will keep on comin. I'm sure I have a little more wallowing in me, but I'm hopeful that those are the exception and not the rule.

Milkbone Underwear

Over the past few weeks, I've really been struggling with this "life transition." I know in my heart and soul that escaping "corporate America" is what I need to do. But there is so much baggage connected to that. I've been feeling grief and fear, worry that I will disappoint, worry that I will fail. Carving your own way is difficult enough, what with the thorns and brambles that threaten to tear at you. Add to that the concern - lack of confidence - from your immediate family and, well you can figure the rest out.

But, here's the rub. I was having dinner with a wonderful friend (you can never know how wonderful) tonight and this realization hit me like a brick. The world of business (as Scrooge would have said) is about competition - coming out ahead, climbing the corporate ladder better, quicker, more adeptly. The life-view that I hold (you may call it spirituality or religion or mantra or whatever) is that we are all in this together. We are all pieces of a giant, brilliant, radiant whole and that when we support one another, we support all.

A few years ago, when I was suffering through a painful breakup from a lover who had all but alientated me from my friends, I attended a ritual for the Celtic New Year. I felt alone and barren and bereft. And this very same friend reached over and rubbed my shoulders, took me into her arms. She had no reason to reach out to me - I had abandoned her without cause or explanation. But she saw my fear and pain and bore it with me.

The long and short of it is this: those that get ahead in the "business" world - corporate or educational or any other hiearchical structure - are those that know how to compete. And those of us that live to serve humanity and a higher cause, well... we're basically just fucked.

But, in being fucked (metaphorically of course) we have so much to gain. We are free to pursue our own paths, to forge new directions, to join forces in unexpected ways, to create a network of people supporting people.

It may be a radical notion, but one I can hope for as a better way ahead.

In the ever-echoing words of ancients before me: "So mote it be."