Saturday, December 27, 2008

A Dickensien Christmas

Well, I hate to admit this, but I had a wonderful Christmas.

The family was finally real with each other. The reality is, we're all in tough financial times. And so we had to scale it back this year. We say that every year, but this year was true. We didn't even "do" stockings. All that said, we laughed a lot and had a really good time.

I don't seem to be able to hold onto the sentimental BS that I usually succumb to. I didn't sit and stare at the Christmas tree, the ornaments so full of memory and meaning. I didn't wake early to hide Secret Santa gifts around the living room. I didn't even want to watch It's a Wonderful Life. I don't know why.

But regardless, I talked to my Mom and Dad - really talked. I shared with them the thoughts and feelings I have about life, the Universe and everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but still...

A few days of rest and relaxation really provided some perspective. I'm not exactly sure what I want and how I go about figuring that out, but I do have some clarity. GoodBuddy's visit last night not withstanding...

I need to figure out what I'm going to do for New Years. I have a couple of options: 1) go to yoga and meditation workshop and celebrate the new year with "positive potential" 2) go to party I've been invited to and celebrate the new year in social interaction with people who support the higher Me 3) celebrate the new year the way I have in recent history, with some quiet ME time, reflecting on the past and future, enjoying The Twilight Zone and not having to deal with people. The third option, of course, is probably the one that does me the least amount of good, but is honestly the most appealing....

We'll see.