Over the past few weeks, I've really been struggling with this "life transition." I know in my heart and soul that escaping "corporate America" is what I need to do. But there is so much baggage connected to that. I've been feeling grief and fear, worry that I will disappoint, worry that I will fail. Carving your own way is difficult enough, what with the thorns and brambles that threaten to tear at you. Add to that the concern - lack of confidence - from your immediate family and, well you can figure the rest out.
But, here's the rub. I was having dinner with a wonderful friend (you can never know how wonderful) tonight and this realization hit me like a brick. The world of business (as Scrooge would have said) is about competition - coming out ahead, climbing the corporate ladder better, quicker, more adeptly. The life-view that I hold (you may call it spirituality or religion or mantra or whatever) is that we are all in this together. We are all pieces of a giant, brilliant, radiant whole and that when we support one another, we support all.
A few years ago, when I was suffering through a painful breakup from a lover who had all but alientated me from my friends, I attended a ritual for the Celtic New Year. I felt alone and barren and bereft. And this very same friend reached over and rubbed my shoulders, took me into her arms. She had no reason to reach out to me - I had abandoned her without cause or explanation. But she saw my fear and pain and bore it with me.
The long and short of it is this: those that get ahead in the "business" world - corporate or educational or any other hiearchical structure - are those that know how to compete. And those of us that live to serve humanity and a higher cause, well... we're basically just fucked.
But, in being fucked (metaphorically of course) we have so much to gain. We are free to pursue our own paths, to forge new directions, to join forces in unexpected ways, to create a network of people supporting people.
It may be a radical notion, but one I can hope for as a better way ahead.
In the ever-echoing words of ancients before me: "So mote it be."