Wednesday, January 23, 2008

More From Losers Club Gets the Flu

I've always avoided flu shots. The idea of injecting myself with something to ward off the chance that I might develop an illness down the line has always bothered me. No more.

I came down with the real symptoms Tuesday night. Wednesday I lost to sleep. Thursday I made it into work, only to leave early, go home and crash completely. Friday I was on the mend. HA!

Saturday, I went to the ER after waking up with the tell-tale eye goop of conjunctivitus. (Yes, thank you, I realize it's a disease usually reserved for kindgartners.) After consulting with a lovely woman at my insurance's 24/7 Nurse Help Line, who informed me I really shouldn't wait to get the eye checked out and, oh by the way, get that chest looked at too, you sound awful, I headed for the ER to pick up some antibiotic drops.

Revolving door care at it's best, I was in, triaged, looked at, given an Rx, and closed out all within 20 minutes. Except I couldn't leave. The hospital was on lockdown. Yes, that's right. Lockdown. I have no idea why - maybe there was a murderer on the loose. Maybe an abusive husband with a restraining order against him. Maybe aliens with the ability to impregnate unsuspecting humans. No reason was given. I just couldn't leave.

I was FINALLY released and went home to fill the prescription, which I promptly went home and used. WHICH MADE MY EYE WORSE. Great.

Monday, I went to the real doctor to get a friggin diagnosis since I still felt like death, was wrapped in a cocoon of misery, and hadn't been able to sleep due to the hacking cough that wracked my body every ten minutes. She declared: bronchitus. And gave me a prescription for an antibiotic and a cough syrup. Which turned out to be a suppressant and an expectorant.

If you don't understand that, think about it this way. It's like a cough speedball. Part of it makes you up, part of it makes you down. So my body wanted to cough, but my body didn't want to let itself cough. So, I wound up spending the night drowning on my own breath. FUN!

Last night, I went BACK to CVS (where, btw, they are completely unable to fill my prescription without playing phonetag for 20 minutes with my insurance). I was told the new cough syrup would cost me $55. Yep, $55. I was also told that, basically, this new cough syrup was liquid vicodin.

Really? Tell me more.

I took my dosage at 8:45. By 9:15 I was having really enjoyable pre-dream visions. By 9:30, I was completely unconscious.

I slept until 7 a.m. I got up, took a shower, and fell asleep for 20 more minutes.

So, this a.m. I feel LOTS better. I'm not sure if it's because I'm still in a vicodin-induced haze or if its because I actually slept the whole night through. Or maybe it's because the throbbing from my ears, cheeks, forehead and nose is finally gone. Whatever the reason, I hope it lasts.

And next year? Getting a flu shot!