Thursday, April 07, 2011

Pondering

A week or so ago, I visited a Tarot reader. I honestly don't pay much credence to what he had to offer, since a lot of it seemed off base. But he did say this. "You are a married woman, yes?" When I replied no, he offered this explanation: "Well, you may not be married in this life, but you are eternally connected. In past lives, you are linked. Not necessarily man and wife, but linked. This person rides along with your incarnations and you have a bond beyond this world." At the time, I was thinking of Handsome Man. Yes, I love him. But a tie beyond time and space? It just didn't feel right. Enter all the debaucle with Good Buddy. Such a fight. His inability to see me without a decent explanation why. My jumping to conclusions out of sheer anguish and distrust. The passionate arguments that ensued. And here am I realizing what the cards might have read. Good Buddy and I might truly be tied to one another life after life. Who knows why and who know when. But why, after fight after fight and friendship v lover, and near v far, and tears v jokes, do we keep coming back to one another? He has been the source of the worst pain in my life. And the source of the best joy in my life. And every which way in between. Right now, I have no idea where we're at. We shared a lot of intense thoughts the last few days. He summed it up pretty well: "You, Me, Us. We're all still a work in progress. We don't have to figure it out now. But it's good to know we'll stand together while we do." I know now who the tarot cards were reading. It is painful and it is joyous. And, like it or not, friends or lovers, it is Good Buddy,