Things I Learned This Weekend

I am exactly as high-strung as I think I am.

A travel soda is what the kids are calling it when you mix booze into a Pepsi/Coke bottle to avoid open container issues.

When my stomach hurts, a five-mile run in pea-soup weather is a bad idea.

Earplugs do not block out the bass at 2 in the morning.

Knowing may actually be worse than not knowing.

If you're craving funnel cake, the only thing to do, really, is to go ahead and have funnel cake. It's worth it. It really is.

Universal Mood Swings

Over the weekend, the weather turned gorgeous. Yet my mood was foul. I kept trying to make the best of it, but overhead hung my imagined black cloud of impending doom.

Today, the day was filled with rainclouds and thunderheads. And yet, marvelous things happened.

My next-door neighbor gave me a grill. A big one. All mine.

My soon-to-be roommate told me she's giving me the rent check tomorrow.

I got a call-back on a job. An amazing one. One that I said, when submitting my application, "I could really REALLY do this."

I had what could be considered a fairly enjoyable first date.

One of my favorite yoga teachers is back in town and teaching again.

And it looks like I may have some partners in crime around for Fiesta.

It all collectively reminds me of this riff from Bill Hicks. (I wish - today of all days - that it was the genius of George Carlin (God'vemercyonim), but alas... couldn't find an appropriate one.)

I don't understand anything so there you go...you know what my problem is? I watch too much news, man, that's my problem, that's why I'm so depressed all the time, I figured it out. I watch too much CNN, man. I don't know if you've ever sat around and watched CNN more than, I don't know, 20 hours in one day...I don't recommend that. Watch CNN Headline News for 1 hour, it's the most depressing thing you'll ever fucking do: WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS, RECESSION, DEPRESSION. WAR, FAMINE, DEATH, AIDS, HOMELESS...Then, you look out your window. <sound of birds chirping> "Where's all this shit happening? Ted Turner's making this shit up! Jane Fonda won't sleep with him, he runs to a typewriter: 'By 1992, we will all die of AIDS; read that on the air. I don't get laid, no one gets laid!'" I'm writing Jane Fonda: 'Will you fuck this guy so we can get some good news, please?' I want to see a well-laid Ted Turner newscast: "Hey, it's all going to work out. Here's sports."

Chirp chirp. Chirp chirp.

Luck of the Irish?

Y'all know how much I love me my sports. And my rabid sportsfans.

Which is why it was SO FRIGGIN' EXCELLENT that I got to be in downtown Boston during the Celtics Rolling Rally today.

Apparently, we won some important game?

There is nothing more awesome than fighting crowds of sweaty, drunk people wearing tanktops and randomly emitting ear-splitting, gutteral groans. Unless it's waiting in a cattle pen to be allowed by a power-mad MBTA security officer onto a train full of those exact same people.

Restoring Faith

I WILL find a way to make this all work. If, for no other reason, because I live HERE.

And HERE.

Where Did All the Shit Go Before There Were Fans?

One of the perks of working for my company is the gourmet lunches that get served up daily. For less than it would cost to go out to eat, we get yummy entrees, soups, salad bar and (my favorite part) freshly-baked bread.

Of course, the downside to this is, it's like being back in High School and wondering who you're going to sit with. And now that we're all one big happy family, we're all trying to figure out how we're all going to get along.

Today's conversation centered - obliquely - on how miserable we all are, how uncertain we all are, and how we're all either hunting or preparing to hunt.

We're Corporate Cougars.

I keep telling myself that this is all meant to be, that The Universe will take care of me, and that it will all work. It's just so damn hard to trust sometimes, you know?