Waaaaaay TMI - NSFW

For those who follow my blog (and, honestly, there's probably not many of you), if you woudl prefer not to know, ahem, personal matters then leave right now. But I feel this blog is a chance for me to share the ups and downs of an ex-Corporate slave, bi-polar dork who is on the cusp of finding her own happiness. And that comes in all sorts of flavors. I have been dating Handsome Man for almost a year. And while I love him and think he's one of the most caring indivuals I've ever met, he's not, as one could say, a mighty lover. He's older. He's not in the greatest shape of his life. And I have the distinct impression that hes 1) been alone so long and 2) watched so much pRon that real life doesn't really "do it." So, okay. But you have to realize this comes on the heels of Good Buddy. 'Nuff said. Here's where it gets interesting. I haven't been able to fill my prescription for my anti-depressant (see COBRA sux). This isn't the major "crazy pill" that keeps me from wantiing to kill myself. But it is the pill that was, as they say, stifling my libido. So, until Wed, I'm feeling ... frisky. And H.M. isn't up for the task. So the time has come for me to wonder: 1) is it better to feel slightly "off" but want to F*** Handsome Man (and/or fantasize about GoodBuddy and various and sundry others) or 2) is it better to be totally "normal" and face the reality that in the rare occoasions H.M. feels amorous it isn't going to be ... truly satisfying. I guess the question boils down to: physical or mental happiness? Can I find enough reasons to get up in the morning to merit the physical reaction? Or will I regress into the state where even putting laundry away felt too overwhelming a task? The choice, on paper, seems clear. But in reality, not so much. After all, you can wear clothes straight out of the laundry basket. They may be wrinkel but they're clean...