Thou Shalt Not

Warning - gonna go deep for a moment. Avert your eyes if necessary.

So, yesterday, Pappa Razzi decreed that there were new sins. Among these are no-brainers such as "polluting the environment" but also questionable categories such as "genetic modification." But, as I was learning about our new list of No-Nos by the Vatican, I wondered about that phrase in general: No-No. By it's very essence, it negates.

Being a recovering Catholic, the young Me would never have questioned this. Don't do this, don't do that -- it was all commonplace. Lying = bad = don't do it.

But, in contrast, why not live life in an affirmative?

The older Me questions worldviews that cut life up into black and white and tell people what not to do. In other words, instead of telling us not to pollute, why not tell us to respect the Earth? It may be semantics, but semantics are sometimes powerful things.

I look at it this way. There's lots of people that say "I don't/won't eat: meat, sugar, cooked food, carbs, dairy..." And so if you (accidentally, natch) consume one of these things, you are breaking a rule. You are bad. (And, of course, if you live by Church tenets, then you have to go to Confession and be absolved of all your sins by an outside force, a Father).

BUT ... if you say, "I eat healthy," well, that can mean a lot of things. For me, that means not consuming meat and trying my best to rely on local and/or organic and/or less processed foods. But if I happen to really want to eat that box of Caramel Delights I bought from the Girl Scouts, well.... I just might. Because sometimes sugar and chocolate and coconut and caramel formed together in a chewycrunchy combination of sweetrichness feels healthy for me.

I'm trying to live my life less and less in a state of negative absolutes and more and more in a state of positive acceptance. That doesn't mean that I'm allowing myself to do everything. (For example, still choosing not to drink on schoolnights.) I'm just trying to realize that maybe life isn't about rules, so much as about attitude. Approach it with a sense of gratitude and acceptance and life itself becomes much more fulfilling.

I think. I hope. We'll see.

Profiting from Loss

I had a very productive therapy session today. Have I mentioned I love my therapist?

One of the things we talked about is mutuality - feeling like you are getting as equally as you are giving. I don't have a good track record with this.

In many of my past relationships (through my own fault, admittedly) I have been the "giver." Sometimes I have felt (emotionally or otherwise) repaid for this. More often, not.

The thing is, you don't mind giving when you're in love with the person. Or even in like.

But the minute it ends, you REALLY mind. Unfortunately, by then, it's too late to do anything constructive about it.

Enter my brilliant marketing plan: The Ex Bill.

Wouldn't it be great if all spurned lovers could easily create an itemized bill for all costs and "services rendered" and send them to their ex's? You know, line items for things like "Pain and Suffering for putting up with you after the Patriots lost" or "Gas money for shuttling your sorry ass around." Or even "Water used while sneaking a load of laundry into my washing machine."

All bills could be personalized and either sent or burnt, whichever your spiritual outlook on life recommends.

I think I would make a fortune. What do you think?

Quoi?

I got tickets to go see EDDIE!

Can you say Crazed Fan?



PS - This is why Eddie is so brilliant...

Give Me Lotsa Hair

I just called my stylist down in Harvard Square and since she's going on vacation, her Saturday appointments are booked up from now till doomsday. I managed to get a 9:45 on April 5. That's a month from now. And it's at 9:45 - on a Saturday!!!!!!

I'm not sure I can stay sane enough with this ever-growing mop to last that long. But I've been faithful to her for so long, I'm afraid what someone else might do to my head.....

Maybe I'll look to this for some inspiration.



(It kinda looks like Rachel. Who had makeup AND hairspray on MSNBC last night!)

The Daughter My Mother Never Had

As we all know, Kalesy's mom is a bit of a Church freak. God on speed-dial and all that. In addition to her roles as Eucharistic Minister, Altar Girl (Woman?), CCD teacher, Christmas Pageant Organizer, Head of the Welcoming Committee, and Nursing Home Minister, she also occasionally serves as a sponsor for kids getting their first communion and confirmation.

One of these kids is Lindsey.

My mother adores Lindsey. Lindsey adores my mother. In my (now abandoned) bedroom at "home," pictures of Lindsey adorn the dresser and desk. Lindsey in her first communion dress, Lindsey in her school picture, Lindsey and my mom in matching dresses at her confirmation. Now why on earth would this give me a complex?

Yesterday, Mom went in for cataract surgery. If I was told once I was told a hundred times: this was no big deal, in and out, standard procedure, do not worry. So I didn't.

When my mom recovered enough, she gave me a call. She was feeling okay, she said. A little tired. But I should see the bouquet of flowers Lindsey sent her, with a beautiful little Get Well Soon note...

I suck.