The Secret

I was chatting with a good friend yesterday about her "issues" with her current boyfriend which, in a lot of ways, resemble some of the issues I had with Mr. Zips. I guess a lot of this stuff is hardwired for men and women. Yeah, yeah, Venus/Mars - I know.

Talking with her, I once again found myself disliking this man, even though I've met him and he seems very nice. You see, she only tells me about their problems. The stuff he does that bothers/annoys/upsets her. Or the ways in which he doesn't meet her needs. I very seldom hear about the great things he says or does that make him a great boyfriend. And so, since I only hear one side, I wind up not liking him very much.

I know that I often did the same with her regarding my relationship w/ Mr. Zips. I kinda do it the same way for this blog and my entire life.

I went through today and peeked at some (very) old posts on a whim. And, altho there are a decent number of posts about how happy I am or how good life is, there's also a lot of posts where I'm bitching, moaning, and otherwise whining. (But I always try to do it in a funny way. Well, at least, sorta...)

Why do we, as humans, so often vocalize the negative? Why, when people ask how things are, do we immediately launch into how tired/frustrated/achey/etc. we are?

Wouldn't it be better to launch into how wonderful and beautiful life is?

Resolved: from this moment forward I will do my best to see the glass as half full.

This weekend, Deb quoted this from Marianne Williamson. I think it says it all:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

All I Want for Christmas...

I pretty much got this weekend....

An amazing day of yoga on Saturday. Class with Deb was (shocking!) amazing and the meditation about "Living a Radical Life" was (more shocking!) exactly what I needed. And while the asana portion of the class wasn't as difficult as I was hoping, it was really great to spend time focusing on the precise alignments and universal principals. (That said, if I don't do another chutarunga for a couple of days, I'll be a VERY happy camper!)

And today, I went up to Rockport w/ HypnoGal and Mrs. H. Much fun was had as we oogled sparkly things. HypnoGal even gave me an awesomenessly awesome housewarming gift - a matted and framed B&W photo of a beautiful Misty Tree that she took herself. How perfect! It's definitely getting pride of place in my wonderful new apartment.

And as we chatted and walked and sipped our coffee, I was struck again by how amazing it is that I live here.

I feel so unbelievably blessed. This is, for sure, what the holidays are all about. Health, happiness, comfort, joy.

Here's some photo memories:

HypnoGal shows off MadSkilllz

Gull and Boat on Bearskin Neck

PS -- Forgot to mention the guy that works in the Tibetan store.... We anticipate having to do much purchasing of Tibetan goods this year.... *grin*

Just in Time

I am ridiculously busy at work. This is impeccable timing, as I finished NaNo yesterday and managed to get the marketing freelance proposal done as well.

The project that's got me so crazed? Rewriting the website. Ostomy supplies. Glucose meters. Lancing devices. (No lie, the current site describes on test kit as "easy, accurate, convenient, simple, and unique." Me Write Copy Good.) I cannot tell you the sexiness that is my life...

While I'm pondering my copy strategy, I often surf the net. I can do this without actually concentrating on what I'm looking at, so that my mind is actually focusing on how best to position ordering your AUTODISC meter from Wilford Brimley.... I don't actually read anything meaningful or important, of course. Because here's my dirty little secret - I browse online menus.

Yep. I can spend hours downloading and perusing menus for restaurants I will never visit.

I informed my dad the other day that Friendly's now offers veggie burgers. I do not need to know this. But, if I need to stop at a Friendly's ever again, I am all set.

It's a bit like this shameful secret posted on From Oy to Vey: Butter my Bread?

I suppose its better than downloading porn. Right?

I Dud Itz!

At 11:27 a.m. (don't tell my boss!) I crossed the finish line and uploaded a 50,112 word novel excerpt to the NaNoWriMo website. The novel isn't done yet and I fully intend to finish it. But the point is, I won. I committed to writing 50 THOUSAND words during the month of November and, one day early, I did it.

Catharsis

Finally find out why I've been so tired. Turns out my iron count is WAAAAAY low. Not only could I not give blood, but they asked me if I wanted to get some. (kidding) I'm not sure why the anemia is rearing its ugly head again. Stress? Lack of access to fresh, organic kale? Does bourbon have iron in it? (I KNEW I shouldn't have stopped drinking!) Seriously, though, this explains a lot about what's been going on with me lately.

Part of the problem is, despite being so unbelievably exhausted, I've been feeling very stressed about my lack of preparation for the Christmas holiday. Anyone who knows me knows that I am Christmas Girl. I love the movies, the songs, the lights - all of it. I even enjoy going to the mall around the holidays, even if I have no shopping to do. I LOVE the Christmas spirit.

But I spent yesterday panicking about when I'm going to have enough free time to decorate my apartment, when I'll have a chance to watch the classics, when (in short) I'm going to have time to get into the holiday season.

Then, once again, everything I needed fell into my lap. I tried out a new yoga class and it was amazing. During my favorite-to-say pose - Eka Pada Rajakapotasana - I surrendered and started crying. And then I got home and The Grinch was on TV.

I sat on my new comfy couch, Peeps on my laps, and sang the Who Christmas song and cried and cried and cried.

And then I went to bed. I was asleep by 9:30.

Need I say? I feel great this morning.