Passive Aggressive Conundrum

My roommate has outed himself as completely passive aggressive. Here's the issue: One of my kitties is prone to "marking" anything of large proportion that doesn't smell like Mommy (that's me). What can I say - she's a total Momma's Girl. I recall an incident years ago when she did so to one of my best friends who also has cats. There's nothing I can do about it. She's a cat and doesn't speak English. Unfortunately, she's decided that my roommate doesn't smell like Mom. So she's started marking his property. We worked out practicalities of keeping her out of his room and that's worked so far. But he also keeps his comforter in an "open" room. Guess what? The problem is, I can't talk to him directly about the issue. Oh, I've tried. But his reaction is to confront me passive aggressively. I get nasty text messages, complete with pictures. He posts shit on my Facebook wall. I know it's an issue. It must suck to feel that all of your belongings have to be quarantined from the "common areas." But until we figure out how to train kitty, that's just the reality. Not to mention, keeping a comforter on top of an end table probably isn't the best location in itself... I want to talk about these things openly and in an adult fashion. It's not comfortable but it's necessary. But when I try, he acts like I'm attacking him. If it's such a problem for him, well, then, move out. If you can deal with it and accept a solution that may not be ideal but works for now, well, let's talk. I just can't stand this passive aggressive B.S. I've given him pass after pass. I paid utilities on my own for a couple of months. I gave him a month pass on rent (which he's never made up.) I think I've earned some honesty and frank discussion. I don't know what to do. I want to post something looking for a new roommate, but I also know he's cruising CraigsList. It's a fucking Conundrum and what can I do to get out of it? I shouldn't have to work this hard at a relationship that isn't even a relationship... UGH.

Pondering

A week or so ago, I visited a Tarot reader. I honestly don't pay much credence to what he had to offer, since a lot of it seemed off base. But he did say this. "You are a married woman, yes?" When I replied no, he offered this explanation: "Well, you may not be married in this life, but you are eternally connected. In past lives, you are linked. Not necessarily man and wife, but linked. This person rides along with your incarnations and you have a bond beyond this world." At the time, I was thinking of Handsome Man. Yes, I love him. But a tie beyond time and space? It just didn't feel right. Enter all the debaucle with Good Buddy. Such a fight. His inability to see me without a decent explanation why. My jumping to conclusions out of sheer anguish and distrust. The passionate arguments that ensued. And here am I realizing what the cards might have read. Good Buddy and I might truly be tied to one another life after life. Who knows why and who know when. But why, after fight after fight and friendship v lover, and near v far, and tears v jokes, do we keep coming back to one another? He has been the source of the worst pain in my life. And the source of the best joy in my life. And every which way in between. Right now, I have no idea where we're at. We shared a lot of intense thoughts the last few days. He summed it up pretty well: "You, Me, Us. We're all still a work in progress. We don't have to figure it out now. But it's good to know we'll stand together while we do." I know now who the tarot cards were reading. It is painful and it is joyous. And, like it or not, friends or lovers, it is Good Buddy,

The Secret

OK, so I've never read The Secret. I've never read any Deepak Chopra. I've never read any of the books on those shelves in the bookstore... But I DO know that when you open yourself to The Universe, you usually get what you're lookin' for. You still have to work for it, but the opportunities arise. Here's the skinny. I just met w/ the owner of an awesome restaurant. I pitched the idea of him hiring me as a contractor, not as an employee. It's unconventional, but entirely legit. If his book-keeper signs off, I'm looking at ~$500 a week. Add that to my "paycheck" from Uncle Sam, and I'm just about breaking even from the last, horrible, unbearable corporate gig. Add to that the chance to meet people, have days free for beach or biking, and plenty of time to work on Ye Olde Business Plan. Dear Universe, thank you. You know I'm not a Bible-thumper, but I knocked and you sure answered! PS - More on the saga of GoodBuddy soon - and it's positive progression - but today I'm just gonna bask in sunshine and joy...

Redux of Broken Heart Redux

SO.... fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me for the fifth time in a row ... and I really need to change the order of my speed-dial. Once again, GB was coming to town and we could "really spend some QT." Fast forward a week or so and QT was "dinner or lunch." Fast forward to today when I get the text that, "I won't be able to see you." When am I going to learn? When am I going to stop getting my hopes up and realize that, despite his protests that all he has is his word, he breaks his word again and again? Why do I keep forgiving and forgetting? I have no answer. The only thing I know is that the last time I said goodbye to him, it took me years to stop imagining I saw him around every corner. And I just don't know if I have the energy to do that on a daily basis. This behavior makes me miserable, but for a few days at a time. Can I take it on as a fulltime job? I should. All my self-love and independance say that's the best course for healthy self-fulfillment. But just how realistic is it?

As a woman who, as a child,was once spoiled by her dad, I have many wonderful memories. Even more so now that I have found happiness and he has found some sense of equalibriam. Popps - I will never forget or dismiss the feelings of love and home and joy when you sang me this to sleep. Poppo Soppo San, Ichi Ban