Flowing with Grace and All that Other Nonsense

The style of yoga I most love, Anusara, has one central theme: soften and open to Grace. The theory behind this is, if you open to Grace, grace will lead you the way.

This morning, I was having a VERY hard time getting out of bed. I'd had another bout of my infamous insomnia and, after finally falling back to sleep, I had nightmare after torturiously realistic nightmare. I woke up, still exhausted, and really wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day. If I didn't HAVE to be anywhere, I didn't WANT to be anywhere.

But then, on a whim, I checked out the schedule at a local yoga studio. And, snap!, one of my favorite teachers was teaching at noon. It was 9. Plenty of time to do the annoying little things I'd put on my "to do" list and still make it to class. And then, class was only 10 minutes away from a theatre showing a film I wanted to see, The Rite." PS - don't make the same mistake I did.

Then, I got a call from a local Time Bank friend who can offer help on start-up businesses. And then I got a call from the contact of the PR firm working with the CAFM this year. And she invited me to a Women and Wine networking event this Thursday. Then I chatted with the admissions counselor from the nearby community college about their entrepreneurship certificate. And then I talked to someone from the Time Banks about promoting their annual fundraiser. And then...

So, I forced myself out of bed for yoga. And all this other "and then's" happened. And people STILL doubt the power of the Universe and the laws of attraction and the theory of karma? Seriously? Doods, I am living friggin proof!

PS -- Kitty curled up contentedly on my bed. She hasn't journeyed upstairs in weeks. She MUST be feeling better. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Musing on Mortality

A few years ago, upon the eve of my High School Reunion, I made the comment that it would be odd to show up with no husband, no children, no family. A very insightful and very dear friend took that opportunity to point out that the 'traditional" were never things I'd aspired to. That's not to demean those choices - just that they were never right for me.

And I know this is not nearly the same thing as a mother for her children. But, Peepers is sick. She's got a kidney infection and, while the vet seems confident of her full recovery, I am petrified. I keep watching her, obsessed that she seems sullen, lethargic or miserable. Of course it's not the same as having a child. But with her in the vet office today, the house felt unmistakably lonely. Sure, Eliza is there with her cries and nudges. But the staid and aloof attidtude of the Peeps was definitely missing.

I've joked for a long time that I am a "crazy cat lady." Guess it turns out that there's more to it than a joke.

I'm sure there is some deep, insightful metaphor or meaning to all of this. And maybe tomorrow I'll figure it out. But tonight, I'll settle for watchin my Lamby Pie Petunia sleep on the edge of the bed...

Right now, she seems so content and restful. Here's hoping that it is a sign of things to come...

The Difference Between 3 Brooms and Kim Crawford

I'm really enjoying my new stint at Alchemy. It sounds strange to say that I get a lot of pride from ... waitressing? But I do. There's something satisfying about meeting strangers and giving them a memorable experience. And all this while they're doing one of the simplest functions of humans - eating.

I'm still in training because business has been so slow. But I've worked out a great deal w/ the restaurant. Because I don't want to screw up my unemployment checks, I'll train for the cost of a meal and a drink. Not too shabby when a full meal and glass of wine normally costs ~$40. Plus, truffle risotto, sweet potato gnocchi and a glass of Lolonis Fume Blanc is freaking fantastic.

I know the name and producer of that variatel because, at the end of every shift, I get to sample wines from our menu to "experience" them. Serious perks to working in a high-end restaurant.

For so long, I've been wanting to belong to my community, enjoy living on a gorgeous island, and spending time on some random things. Now, I have the chance. And it involves drinking wine as homework...

I start my class on entrepeunership on Tuesday. Details will be forthcoming.

Nostalgia and it's meanings

So, in May, I was priveleged enough to witness 2 of the 3 concerts A-Ha performed in New York City during their Farewell Tour. It was amazing and a memory I will carry to the end of my days. I had the privelege (or tenacity) to meet all three of the ensemble and will never, ever, forget the experience.

Their last -- final -- single was finally released. The video can be seen here.

At first, it made me sad. Even angry. But then, I realized that these three individuals didn't just exist to give me pleasure. They had feelings, thoughts, ambitions of their own.

Still, as I watch their videos and listen to their songs, there is a part of me that grieves. Americans' don't know much about these men except their one-hit-wonder song. But, for me, it was the soundtrack of my life. And, as lame as it may be, I finally broke down and bought that CD. And loved it. And hated it. And will cherish it forever.

We all have memories or thoughts or experiences that shap our existence. We should mever be madeto feel afraid of them.

I hope that will ring true for times ahead.

-K

Oh, so long. Oh, so many changes

It's been ages since I've posted. And I likely have no more followers or readers at this point. Still...

I have officially - for now - given up corporate America. CBL was removed but her replacement was far worse than she could ever be. Worse in different ways, but ways that I could not reconcile.

As example, I would have called in today as a day unsuited to travel. (Read: a foot of snow.) He would have told me I had an office job and any day out of the office constitutied a sick/personal day.

Now, I thankfully don't have to worry about that. What I do have to worry about is the way corporate America seems contect to F'me over on things like unemployment or health insurance.

Still and all, I feel like bitterness and anger doesn't really serve me.

I am trying my best to concentrate on the ways - and there are SO many - this is serving to heal my heart, I am meeting my "home town peeps." I am pursuing goals in the local community. I am taken classes to help me build my own business plan. And, more than anything, I am taking myself out of the corporate wheel.

I need to keep reminding myself of this. Days where I have no work and no plans, it gets a bit difficult. But I have to keep reminding myself of all the things that make me me. So, I apologize if there is a fair amount of gratuitous youtube sharing in days to come, It's been a long time since bloggin and I just might need the buffer YouTube can offer.