Wild Thing

I know you're going to be shocked by this statement but, yesterday's yoga workshop was amazing.


Sianna is a charged bundle of wisdom and energy. Her meditation for the morning class was on "The Wild Thing." This is a pose that John Friend "developed" and that has been named in Sanskrit as "Am'ing to Moreness" -- being open to always becoming moremoremore. And the way you open to always becoming more is by opening your heart. See?

The whole day really taught me two things: one, my anger and childish NannyNannyPooPooism of the last three weeks (yes, folks, it's a "technical name" kind of day) is just that - childish. Yes, I'm angry and hurt and sad, but there's just no need to wear it on my sleeve like a badge of honor. I need to just "feel the feelings I'm feeling" and continue to live my life authentically. And, two, I need to be gentle with myself and know that even though I'm really scared about all the developments of the past month or so, I am really courageous in being this open to this much more.


Pretty deep words for 9:15 a.m. and no coffee yet. And now I'm off to do the truly yogic thing of going to Six Flags. Here's to riding the rollercoaster of life!

D Day

Tomorrow is the last day at IrishCompany. I'm having trouble envisioning a commute that doesn't involve Storrow or not making the (almost) daily trip to ABP. What's even worse is that I have no idea what my future will look like. On a day to day basis, I have no idea what to expect.

Still, I had therapy tonight and five hours of yoga to look forward to on Saturday. I'll see yoginis I know and love and even my good friend WriterGal. So happiness on the horizon.

Besides, it was time to repaint my toenails. I painted them aqua and plan on wearing the aqua dress that Mr. Zips and I had such a fight about on my birthday. Why not look uber hot on my last day of work? Maybe I'll try to talk BeautifulGirl into grabbing lunch at the Italian place next door. I'd like one last Jimmy Blue-Eyed Special, s'il vous plais.

All Together Now

Amended French battle hymn:

Napolean vanque cinque cent soldats
Napolean vanque cinque cent soldats
Napolean vanque cinque cent soldats
Mais il ne m'a pas défait!

And my own little ditty:

I can't wait 'till my exit interview
exit interview
exit interview
I can't wait 'till my exit interview
'cuz I'm throwing (Napolean)* under the bus!

*this sounds a lot better when you use Napolean's two-syllable name

Set your watches peeps. 11:30 EDT tomorrow.

Whirlwind

My life is moving at such a breakneck pace I can't even keep up. So, I will do my best to categorize.

Yoga

One positive thing to result from the recent past is how much my yoga practice is progressing - both physically and spiritually. I've been taking class a lot more regularly since I have no one to go home to and haven't been spending money on meals out. So I've practically tripled the amount of asana I've been practicing.

The workshop w/ Todd and Ann was completely amazing. The theme for the weekend was Shiva Nataraja, the dancing shiva (embodied in this pose). The focus was on the ecstatic dance through life and everything it brings, both joyous and mournful. What a great meditation. The class itself was very challenging and I think many of us were starting to feel a little frustrated. But Todd kept our spirits up. "Let's put our legs behind our heads. Shall we? Why not?" And, of course, we all laughed incredulously. But, before you know it, I was moving into a full expression of bhairavasana. (Amazing how good that pose feels, despite how it looks!) At the end of class we joined together in a kirtan to Shiva Nataraja and it was so unbelievably moving, uplifting, and beautiful. I practically floated home.

Home

I got the apartment! The one I wanted in Gloucester. Soon I will be living steps from the ocean. Here's a picture of my new kitchen.






And here's one of my new BACKYARD






I'm not sure when moving day will be. Depends on what my current landlords say. It might have to be the weekend of Oct. 27, which means I miss bestest friend's birthday party. Sadness. But in all reality I might not be able to make it down to NJ right now anyway. Ah well, I'll figure it out.

NaNoWriMo

As you can see from my links, I am now an offical NaNoWriMo 2007 participant. 29 days to go until kick-off! NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month - 50,000 words during the month of November. The theory behind it is that most aspiring writers suffer from the "one day" syndrome when really what they need is a deadline. So this gives us a deadline - November 30. The goal here is quantity, not quality. You can always go back and edit something once you've got it down on paper. As the founder of the project stresses, once you're compassionate enough with yourself to allow yourself to write complete and total drivel, you have carte blanche for creating the masterpiece.

I'm taking this challenge really seriously and WitchKnight and HypnoGal and I have formed our own little support group. I'm also hoping to find people in Gloucester or thereabouts that are involved.

I've begun reading No Plot? No Problem! and it's not only insanely motivational, it's also hilarious. I was reading it in the laundromat on Sunday and a woman actually came over to ask me what I was reading that was making me laugh so hard. Beware the flying guilt monkeys!

So, I have a plot and characters and it's all I can do to keep from starting to write now. But that's strictly verbotten, so I'll just keep drafting in my head for one more month.

And, finally, Work

Wrapping up my last week here at IrishCompany. Napolean is in Dublin, which gets him out of my hair. Although the few times I've talked to him he's definitely thrown passive agressive barbs in my direction. (Shocking!) I'm being pretty passive myself this week and haven't even begun cleaning out my desk. But I'll get there sooner or later.

As for the new job, I'm both excited and very very nervous. I even went out and bought two books on Copywriting and working at an agency. I know it's not rocket science, but it is a completely different environment and I'm not so good with the new things. Still, I already have a great support network in place, know people on the inside, and trust in myself. So, here's to leaping into the great, vast unknown and knowing that I'll fly.

Making the Latent Manifest

New Criticism

I sit
my back to a space heater
reading poems in a book
signed by the author,
a professor I had years ago.
Had, in the sense that he taught me
and in the sense that I always wanted more.

The course was literary theory
and he liked New Criticism
which removes the writer from the writing.
But I never bought it.
You couldn't read those poems
and not get to know the soul
that was translated onto the page.

I loved to hear him read from his work,
his unique cadence
the rhythmical dripping of double entendre
made me feel
that I had something to say.

But now, I have nothing to say.
Or, rather, everything I have to say is Memo.
To: You
Re: See how well I'm coping

When the truth I need to face
is that a heating unit
bought at the Home Depot for $12.95 plus tax
is doing the job you used to
keeping me warm
against the chill autumn nights.

And neither of you
understand
why I keep these books of poetry
on my shelves
and read them when I feel lonely.